But last night, my roommate pointed out that today would be our last day under Benedict XVI's papacy. And then this morning, as I made my Morning Offering, I choked over these words:
"I offer you all my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of today ... in particular for the intentions of the Holy Father."
It hit me hard: tomorrow we won't have a Holy Father. Every morning I've been praying for his intentions... but tomorrow? What will I say instead? "For the intentions of the former Holy Father"? I felt pretty cut up inside at the realization.
When the news was first announced, I felt a little guilty when everyone seemed to be writing blog posts and Facebook statuses about how Pope Benedict was their special guiding light—the pope who brought them to the Church/greatly influenced their personal philosophy/changed their lives—because I can't say I had that kind of "special connection" to our Holy Father. Beyond reading his encyclicals at the times of their publications, I'm not especially familiar with his writings. I came of age as part of the "JPII generation," and John Paul II is still the pope with whom I identify the most. But that doesn't mean I don't love Pope Benedict VXI with all my heart.
What I said in the beginning still holds true: this situation will be best for the Church and for the Holy Father personally. It still is a "win-win." But even win-win situations can be really painful and sad and hard.
Ok, this is getting ridiculous. I'm about to start crying at my desk. We can't have that; there are books that need to be edited and I have work to do. But oh... it doesn't feel right not to grieve.
Today is a hard day for all of us Catholics. God bless our dear Holy Father; our prayers will be with him. Godspeed.
Tess, I feel the same way! I wasn't worried about it at all until today, when I suddenly starting feeling so lost without a Papa. :(
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely article Tess - I completely relate with you on not feeling a super-special connection with him, as JP II was the Pope I grew up with, more 'my Pope' I suppose! I remember being really cut up when he died - so I suppose I wasn't so moved by Benedict's resignation. But it will be very odd :( I hope he is blessed with a peaceful retirement though - prayers for a long-lasting one anyway! x Meabh
ReplyDeleteI was the same way! I'm ok today, but yesterday I was just a ball of sadness. I take comfort when I think of the deep breathe he took at 8:01 pm last night though.
ReplyDeleteI had a very similar experience to yours as well. Now we can unite our prayers for the Cardinals and our future pope!
ReplyDeleteSomeone recently informed me of my nomination for the Liebster award. Part of the fun is spreading the love, so I wanted to let you know I've linked to your blog in my award's post. Your turn!
http://theselittleblessings.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-liebster-award-thank-you.html
God bless you!
It's saddening to see our German Shepherd step down (ha ☺) but everything in God's time!
ReplyDeleteAspirer
www.heavenly-aspirations.blogspot.com