Have you been to a holiday pageant lately? Those things are hilarious. My mom and I were wiping tears of laughter from our eyes throughout the whole thing.
Frank made the mistake of choosing bowling with friends over the Christmas pageant—missing out on the comedy show of a lifetime. I made sure to text him everything he was missing, and at some point I realized, This show would make an amazing drinking game (or Bingo for the more mature). Frank told me to write it all down for when we have kids, and I thought maybe you guys might get a laugh out of it too.
The Christmas Pageant Drinking Game
Take a shot every time...
A child noticeably whispers to another kid on stage
A child coming on stage gets really excited and waves to a parent in the audience
A child gets too shy to look at the audience and turns his head away to bury it in his teacher's leg
A child claps/kicks in the opposite direction from the rest of the class for the duration of a song
A child comes on stage dressed as a cow
A child wildly mispronounces a word in his solo speech
A shepherd's mom apparently just gave up and his "costume" is a safety-pinned towel
Take two shots if a child gets so visibly bored he starts bouncing up and down on his heels and rolling his eyes (the audience will notice and keel over from laughter)
Take two shots for fake accents of any kind (Our play had faux German accents. Feliz Navidad totally counts.)
Take three shots if a child dressed like a star takes center stage and twirls
Now you're all set for the next time you're invited to a small relative's performance. Have fun!