_

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Frankly My Dear

The latest and greatest from that husband of mine.

A few weeks ago:
Frank: I'm so excited for the baby. You have no idea. I mean, you're great and all but... New toy.
  
In outrage while cleaning the bedroom:
Frank: I can't believe you stole my favorite corner for hiding clothes in!

When I tried to hug him over my huuuuuge bump:
Frank: Is it just me, or does it seem like the baby is coming between us?

We were getting ready for a concert at our church and I'd invited a bunch of people:

Me: Oh! My blog friend Lyndsey might be coming.
Frank: Is this the one whose blog you sent me?
Me: Yep.
Frank: Oh good! I want to meet her. She likes The National. I think we could be friends.
Me: Um... I don't even know what The National is?
Frank: Exactly.

My little brother interviewed Frank for a school project, and I overheard this bit of their phone conversation:
Frank: Why did I get married? Well. I fell in love.

Last week, before we got desperate:
Me: Hey Frank. I've heard foot massages can induce labor.
Frank: I've heard sacrificing a chicken can induce labor.

A few nights ago:
Me: Do you think the baby is scared to come out? It must be nice and cozy in there.
Frank: Nope, it's time for that baby to come out. Time to grow up and be a man.
Me: Don't be silly, it's just a tiny little thing.
Frank: We're going to do like the ancient Spartans did and leave him out on the patio. If he makes it through the night, we'll keep him.
This was obviously a complete joke in case there was the slightest doubt, but it cracked me up!

After reading articles about babies:
Me: I read that the newborn stage is only 6 weeks long and then they just start getting so big. Their tiny stage is so short.
Frank: Yeah, I know. So sad. But hey, at least we'll have lots of babies to enjoy it with.
Here's hoping!

7 comments:

  1. See? You'll be fine. You have that goofy husband to take care of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my gosh! I love the Spartan joke... hi-lar-ious!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. That Spartan joke is priceless! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  4. HA this is hilarious... Thanks for the laugh, Tess!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sacrificing chickens and the Spartans -- my faves.

    ReplyDelete