Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Frankly My Dear

The latest and greatest from that husband of mine.

A few weeks ago:
Frank: I'm so excited for the baby. You have no idea. I mean, you're great and all but... New toy.
In outrage while cleaning the bedroom:
Frank: I can't believe you stole my favorite corner for hiding clothes in!

When I tried to hug him over my huuuuuge bump:
Frank: Is it just me, or does it seem like the baby is coming between us?

We were getting ready for a concert at our church and I'd invited a bunch of people:

Me: Oh! My blog friend Lyndsey might be coming.
Frank: Is this the one whose blog you sent me?
Me: Yep.
Frank: Oh good! I want to meet her. She likes The National. I think we could be friends.
Me: Um... I don't even know what The National is?
Frank: Exactly.

My little brother interviewed Frank for a school project, and I overheard this bit of their phone conversation:
Frank: Why did I get married? Well. I fell in love.

Last week, before we got desperate:
Me: Hey Frank. I've heard foot massages can induce labor.
Frank: I've heard sacrificing a chicken can induce labor.

A few nights ago:
Me: Do you think the baby is scared to come out? It must be nice and cozy in there.
Frank: Nope, it's time for that baby to come out. Time to grow up and be a man.
Me: Don't be silly, it's just a tiny little thing.
Frank: We're going to do like the ancient Spartans did and leave him out on the patio. If he makes it through the night, we'll keep him.
This was obviously a complete joke in case there was the slightest doubt, but it cracked me up!

After reading articles about babies:
Me: I read that the newborn stage is only 6 weeks long and then they just start getting so big. Their tiny stage is so short.
Frank: Yeah, I know. So sad. But hey, at least we'll have lots of babies to enjoy it with.
Here's hoping!


  1. See? You'll be fine. You have that goofy husband to take care of you.

  2. Oh my gosh! I love the Spartan joke... hi-lar-ious!!

  3. That Spartan joke is priceless! :-)

  4. HA this is hilarious... Thanks for the laugh, Tess!

  5. Sacrificing chickens and the Spartans -- my faves.