The other mom said, "Definitely the sleep deprivation! I joke that babies are like terrorists—they try to break you through lack of sleep."
I said, "I think it's just the fact that they're around literally ALL. THE. TIME. You never really get a break from being a mom, and that gets exhausting."
Then we told her that we would ask her the same question in a few months when her baby was born!
Since then, that's become my favorite question to ask other parents. It's fascinating how everyone gives a different answer!
When I asked Frank, he said, "The hardest thing is having to have so much patience. I struggle to be patient, and now I need to be patient all the time."
I asked another guy friend and he said, "I think the hardest thing is not having as much time with my wife as I used to." I thought that was sweet, and then I offered to babysit for them some time so they can go on a date!
My friend who first asked me that question had her baby a few months ago—the sweetest little boy ever. We were out to dinner with her and her husband a few weeks ago when I found my chance to ask her that question myself.
"Now that you've been a mom for a few months, it's your turn to answer!" I said. "What do you think is the hardest thing about parenting?"
She works out of the home full-time, so she said, "Honestly, the hardest thing for me is pumping. I get so tired of it!"
Then I asked her husband the same question. His answer was profound.
Shortly after their baby was born, he found himself in a scary, threatening situation while he had the baby with him.
"Before the baby was born, I was never afraid to go anywhere or do anything," he explained. "I knew I could always run away if I had to. But now, with the baby, I realize I can't do that anymore. I would have to stay and fight if something threatened him."
I think his point was not that he feels tied down but rather that there is something more valuable to him than his own life—something so vulnerable and in need of his protection. Isn't that beautiful?
So now I'm curious—what's the hardest thing about parenting for you?
(And here's a happy picture to remind us all that parenting is awesome too, even when it's hard!)
Neat post Tess! Looks like you and Frankie are doing wonderfully :) I'm at the tail end of my second pregnancy, so that has added a different dynamic in parenting Pio. Dealing with morning sickness and increased physical discomforts while tending to a baby has been a challenge. And probably the decreasing amount of "me time" has been the hardest. :) It's definitely a good crash course in sanctification :)
ReplyDeleteDeep question! I think most days I would say absolutely sleep deprivation is hard, but that's just part of the bigger reality: our kids are our path to sanctity. All the little and big ways that they make us grow and die to self, it's all part of our journey. We have an obligation to raise our kids up in the faith and lead them to Christ, but they really bring us to Him, and it hurts like heck sometimes!
ReplyDeleteI'd say the hardest part is never feeling like I get enough alone time. I'm a big introvert, so alone time is important to me - but since I'm home with Kate all day it's impossible to get the same amount of alone-time as I had before. Obviously it's helping me grow in grace by putting her before my own selfish needs so that's a good thing! But sometimes I do miss it, a teeny tiny bit. :)
ReplyDeleteI miss alone time, even as a total extrovert, so I can't imagine how it would be as an introvert! Great point though about how it helps us grow in grace. :)
DeleteI'm obviously not a parent, but I've spent a few years as a day-long nanny, and I'd agree with Hannah. I'm an introvert, and it's extremely difficult to grab a few moments of aloneness to recharge my batteries. But, it's all worth it to see how happy the littles are when you spend time with them. :)
ReplyDeleteThe Starving Inspired
Yes, you've definitely experienced one of the most challenging parts of parenting littles! I love your point about how happy it makes them. Putting the kids first is what it all comes down to, right? :)
DeleteI would say being consistent is the hardest part. Parenting seems to work best when you're consistent about the things that are important to you - reminding them to use their manners, enforcing bedtimes. But sometimes you're just tired, you know?
ReplyDeleteWhile parenting two young children and being close to my due date with our third, I am really struggling with the lack of sleep and endless interruptions. I need a nap more than ever now yet it is pretty much impossible because my other two are in constant need of attention (and have been rebelling from napping!). It's exhausting! There are definitely days where I have simply had enough and need to do something alone to decompress, even if it's grocery shopping in the evening after Paul is home. Sad part is, I normally miss the kids like crazy when I am without them! Crazy emotional mommy brain.
ReplyDeleteNot to be too old mom-ish here, but parenting tweens & teens is a huge challenge, though all the seasons of mom-hood have good and frightening moments. I say this even though I genuinely loves spending time with my kids and have a good relationship with each of them. Talk about your negotiating with terrorists. I white-knuckle it many days, but know I will survive because my mom did.
ReplyDeleteI love this post! Im a bit late reading it (still catching up after tax season!). I'd have to say that the hardest part for me (besides sleep deprivation and constant companions) is knowing that things I do affect another person. Obviously, this has always been true. But now, I am actually forming immature humans into mature ones and oh gosh, what if I do it wrong?!
ReplyDeleteAh, so true! I'm kind of terrified for when Frankie starts imitating me. Cute as it will be, I know it will be a mirror to myself of some bad habits!
DeleteThe guilt.
ReplyDeleteAnd it varies, of course. Guilt over missing working, guilt over raising my voice, guilt over less time with my hub, guilt for feeling guilty, guilt for wishing it was bedtime so I could be alone...