Monday, April 15, 2013

Gotta put my head down and work*

This past week has been kind of a rough one.

It's been an amazing week in a lot of ways. I've met up for dinner, brunch, long walks, and even afternoon teas with many of my dear friends here in Virginia. More farewell gatherings are on the horizon this week and next. It's been a beautiful reminder of all the friends I've made here, and the wonderful community I love being a part of. I really, really love Virginia.

But it's been a hard and bittersweet week too as I begin to say goodbye to the people and the places I love. With my cross-country move coming up in less than two weeks, I feel like an interloper, caught between DC and Chicago and not really belonging in either one. It's been hard getting invitations to parties that will take place after I leave.

It's been especially gut-wrenching to find out this week that four of my co-workers, all close to my age, are getting promotions this month. I know I would be getting a promotion too, if I were staying at this company. But because I am leaving next week, I didn't even get to do an annual review (I know, I probably lucked out on skipping that one!). Instead of getting a work promotion, I'm getting the "promotion" of starting a new job in a far-away city and getting married. I'm so happy about this change, and it was 100% my choice. But there's still a part of me—the competitive, ambitious part—that feels down about missing this chance to advance professionally.

Yesterday I stopped to count up all the changes and big steps I'm taking this April and May. I bought a car, I'm leaving my first real full-time job, I'm moving across the country to a city I haven't lived in since high school, I'm starting a new job in a different industry, I'm moving back in with my parents and then moving to a new apartment (which I still haven't seen), I'm going out of the country, I filed my own taxes for the first time ... oh right, and I'm getting married. All of these changes kind of make my head want to explode. More than once this week I've wanted to crawl under the covers and just kind of never come out. Being a grown-up is hard.

In fairness, I also want to say that I'm truly excited about all these changes. I know how darn lucky I am to have a job lined up in Chicago, and to have my incredibly capable mom handling so much of the wedding planning for me. I'm very grateful that so many things have fallen into place, and I think that once the move is over, I'll be a lot more excited for everything else.

But in the meantime, this week and next, I'm just hanging in there. Taking a lot of deep breaths, drinking a lot of tea, and doing my best to stay calm in the face of a somewhat terrifying to-do list.

Most of all, I need to remember to pray. There's nothing that helps me more to stay calm and peaceful. I'm trying to remember what my parents always said—the busier I get, the more I need to make time to pray. If I put God first, everything else will fall into place.

I might not have a lot of time for posting on the blog in the next few weeks, and I really appreciate your patience with that. If you can spare a prayer for my calmness and sanity, I'd appreciate that too. Now for the next two weeks, it's time for me to put my head down and really work. Here goes. :)

*Enjoy the somewhat random photos... I believe in posts having photos, but there weren't any that really went with this post, so I picked out some random ones from the files. 

1 comment:

  1. Looking forward to having you in Chicago.
    I can totally relate to the sense of your life unravelling right now.
    Your post reminds me of one of mine, from about two months before I got engaged, right at the beginning of a new job too. http://pxsarkany.wordpress.com/2011/09/24/he-who-has-cares/