Nature on Tap + Maternity photo tips?

Have you heard of How About We? I found out about it from Natalie's fun posts about going on 10 curated dates with her husband.

Her blog inspired me to check out their dates for Chicago, but I never scheduled any because Frank wasn't really into the idea ("We don't need someone else to plan our dates") until one day Giedre mentioned that she also wanted to try How About We, and her fiance Vincas was equally uninterested. Ah-ha! An ally!

So the two of us began conspiring to get the menfolk on a curated date. It took forever to find a day that worked with all of our schedules, and even longer to find a date that all of us wanted to go on, but finally the stars aligned and Tuesday night we found ourselves at the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum for their fun adults-only event Nature on Tap.

We didn't quite know what to expect, but the evening was a lot of fun. Even Frank, the skeptic, said it was more fun than he expected. We toured the museum exhibits, enjoyed craft beers and hot sandwiches, and competed in an intense game of nature trivia. You know how we love a good trivia night. Frank and Vincas took their trivia very seriously, pausing occasionally to give Giedre and me the stink-eye as we talked through the whole thing. Whoops. Well, we had a lot to catch up on. :)

And we got to visit the butterfly haven!

It was so nice to see a bit of greenery after this long, cold winter. 

This post is definitely not sponsored (I wish!) but if you're looking for some fun date ideas near you, I recommend giving How About We a try. We really liked it, and we hope to use their service again soon!

Also, a quick question for any moms out there. Giedre and I are planning a maternity photo shoot for once the weather gets a bit warmer. I'm extremely excited about it, but also a little nervous! I guess my worry is that I don't want to come across too cheesy, but I still want to capture all the emotions and excitement of this time. If you've done something like that, do you have any tips or recommendations? (I pinned some of my favorite ideas here.)

Of course, working with Giedre, I know there is no need to worry. Frank and I were looking at her portfolio the other day, and he kept saying, "Did she take all these?? Man! She's good!" It cracked me up. I was like, "Yes, you know she's been doing this for years!" :)

"It felt easy": What it's like when you meet "The One"

I'm a huge sucker for love stories, and lately I've been thinking about a common trend I've noticed when hearing the love stories of different married couples I know.

I first noticed it when I was reading Drea's love story and she said, "I felt comfortable with Alex the moment I met him." I thought, Funny, I felt the same way about Frank. Typically shy and awkward with cute guys, I somehow felt instantly confident and at ease with this tall, dark-haired stranger. That never happened.

Then I was excited to see that lovely Nicole was writing her romance with Tom. Sure enough, in the first installment, she described their first meeting: "[It was] so unlike me to share something that personal with someone of two hours’ acquaintance. But he was incredibly comfortable to talk with, and I didn’t think twice." Again I thought, Yes—comfortable. That's just how it was.

Three love stories (mine and those two) might not be a very large sample size, but I'm wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. What was it like the first time you met your husband (or wife)? Did you immediately have that sense of comfort and ease in their presence, like this person was always meant to be your good friend—even if "friend" was all you had in mind at the time? Tell me I'm not the only one. :)

Serena's wedding: Part 2

The morning of the wedding, I arrived at Serena's parents house bright and early. I did the usual things—painted my nails, helped curl people's hair, brought my handy travel steamer for use on the wedding dress and veil. Serena's adorable 12-year-old cousin told me it was her first time getting her hair curled, and asked me the cutest questions throughout—"Are you a hairdresser? Am I related to you?" It was darling. Everything was a busy flurry of activity and just as I was beginning to think we would never be ready, everything finally came together and we were off to the church!

And Serena! There has never been a sweeter bride. With her beautiful dark hair, blue eyes and pink cheeks, she could have been the model for Snow White. And she was absolutely radiant.

Frank sat right behind me with our good friend Molly, who did a reading during the ceremony. Frank and I couldn't help looking at each other and grinning from time to time. It's so much fun to be at a wedding together and remember our own!

And this couple—they couldn't be more wonderful if they tried. They were simply beaming love and happiness all through the wedding Mass.

When they finally kissed, after saying their vows and exchanging rings, the whole church erupted into spontaneous cheers. That's how excited we all were to see those two get married!

Serena and Anthony have possibly the most romantic love story I've ever heard. I don't want to go into too many details, since it's not my story to tell, but let's just say that Anthony knew she was the one the first moment he laid eyes on her before their freshman year of college at the University of Dallas. Serena, on the other hand, was somehow totally unaware, thinking they just happened to be best friends who had a lot of fun together and got along really well. Anthony patiently bided his time, until after three years he finally asked her out. She hesitantly agreed to one date, but of course she ended up falling in love with him right back, and the rest is history. Their patiently built love story is so beautifully evident in the way they know each other so well and cherish each other so deeply.

Can't you just see the joy on their faces? And that dress—it's just perfect for her! Everyone exclaimed over how beautiful she looked.

We took a bunch of pictures at the church... Here's what the bridesmaids wore if you'd like to see. Serena chose the prettiest, most elegant dresses you can imagine. We all loved them!

Finally it was time to head over to the reception. Here is the lovely couple just before they were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. for the first time!

The reception was elegant and beautiful, filled with all kinds of thoughtful little details that are so Serena. At the head table, there was a little vase of water for each bridesmaid's bouquet:

For favors, Serena made rose-scented candles ... out of tea cups! (Remember when she was collecting all those tea cups a while ago?) I couldn't believe she actually made all of them herself. They even came with coordinating books of matches.

And the wedding cakes fit beautifully with the theme. One was gluten-free, since Serena and some of her family are allergic to gluten. The tea cup on the gluten-free cake was from Serena's first tea set as a little girl.

The toasts were all fantastic. Serena's dad started by asking everyone to clink their glasses so Serena and Anthony had to kiss. Then he said, "I never thought I'd be asking people to help me get someone to kiss my daughter..." That got a lot of laughs! But then he said that Anthony is the one man he would want to kiss his daughter, because he's such a good man who loves Serena so much. It was incredibly sweet.

Serena's dance with her father was spectacular. It started with a sweet, slow song, and then after a minute it picked up into something fast, jazzy and fun (I wish I could remember what the songs were—Molly or Rachel, maybe you can help me?). Serena and her dad can dance! As Frank said, "I saw a whole new side to Serena!" It was a delight to watch and got us all smiling.

The best man was Anthony's brother and he had some darling stories about Anthony as a kid. We found out Anthony took a briefcase to kindergarten—isn't that the cutest mental image? There was also a story about Anthony's love for pens as a little kid. He was always sensible and mature beyond his years, and very sure of what he wanted. How fitting for his sweet love story with Serena.

Then Rachel gave her maid-of-honor speech. I told her she was born to give that speech—it was one of the best wedding toasts I've ever heard. That girl has the sharpest wit and so clearly loves Anthony and Serena so much. She started with, "Now I know that opposites attract ... because Anthony is actually able to get places on time." That brought down the house, and it only got better from there. The speech focused on the virtues Serena and Anthony share that will help strengthen their marriage, and she demonstrated with hilarious and touching anecdotes about each. By the end of the speech, I was crying with laughter—and then it was time for the mother-son dance.

Anthony and his mom danced to a song I'd never heard before—"A song for my son" by Mikki Viereck. Have you ever heard it? It's really beautiful ... and it might make you cry. As I listened to the words of the song—"Be kind, be sweet, be a gentleman"—I thought about how Anthony's mom had taught him those values every day of his life. It's so evident in the man he has become. I thought about the little boy he used to be, who carried a briefcase to kindergarten, and how he loved Serena for so long. I began to tear up a little bit. Then it was time for his and Serena's first dance.

Rachel and Maura, another bridesmaid, sang and played guitar for Serena's and Anthony's first dance. They chose the beautiful song Tailor Made by Colbie Caillat (listen to it on Youtube if you can—it's gorgeous). I'd never heard it before, but the lyrics described their love story so perfectly. And as I watched them dance, lost in the moment and staring into each other's eyes, I just lost it.

I started bawling into my napkin. One of the other bridesmaids, Blanche, grabbed my hand and we cried into our napkins together. Then we smiled through the tears and started laughing, because we were so darn happy. Serena and Anthony were made for each other.

Dang it, guys. I'm getting emotional just writing this post. If I keep going I'm going to start crying again, and we can't have that.

All I can say is, it was a privilege to be in this wedding. I feel like a better person for having witnessed it. Anthony and Serena give such a beautiful example of what marriage can be, just by being who they are. I sure love those two.

A Letter to Single Catholic Guys

Last week, a very nice male acquaintance emailed me asking if I could give him dating advice, or better yet, introduce him to some nice Catholic girls. He got out of a long-term relationship several months ago, hadn't dated in years, and had no clue where to start. He seemed a bit bashful about emailing me out of the blue, but the truth is, he was not the first guy friend to email me asking for dating advice. In fact, he wasn't even the first one that week. I have no idea why guys ask me for dating advice, except that I'm ready to talk their ears off at a moment's notice, but after a few such emails I've decided to compile all my dating advice for guys in one place. That way, the next time someone emails me, I'll be ready. 

Frank helped me write this (which is why I use "we" a lot), and I think most of this could apply to girls too. Do you have anything you'd like to add? Please let me know in the comments!


Dear Twenty-something Catholic Guy,

A lot of people may be telling you, "There's no rush to meet a girl!  You're young. You have plenty of time." We would never say that. In fact, 24 or 25 is well old enough to be married, especially if you have a stable job with health insurance, and most of our parents and grandparents were married with children by our age. We're both 23 ourselves, and we're big proponents of getting married young (young meaning early twenties, in most cases, not teens). It's only natural to feel a strong desire to meet your future wife. That's a good and healthy thing, and will help motivate you through the dating process—which can be a difficult and confusing ride, so it's helpful to have that extra bit of motivation to keep you going.

You may have noticed that a lot of dating advice seems to contradict itself. That's actually a crucial insight into the dating process. Probably the biggest lesson I've learned from dating numerous people and finally getting married is that, in an important sense, there are no real rules when it comes to relationships. Beyond the obvious importance of purity, honesty, etc., there is no right or wrong for how to date or approach dating. That's why dating advice will contradict itself; people base their advice on their own relationships, when in truth, every relationship has its own rules and follows its own unique trajectory. You may meet one girl who wants to go out on a lot of dates to museums and concerts, while another girl prefers to stay in and cook or watch a movie together; one girl may prefer that you call her on the phone, while another will prefer that you just text her. There is no hard-and-fast rule that "All girls love ____." The key thing is to meet each girl with an open mind and concentrate on trying to learn who she is as a person, rather than assuming she will like certain things or think a certain way just because she's a girl. This may be one of the hardest lessons early in the dating process: learning to see the opposite sex as individual persons, with unique preferences, rather than as generic "male" or "female." Does that make sense? Focus on trying to see the girls you meet through the eyes of Christ, giving them kindness and sympathy and respect whether you end up dating them or not. That way you'll be on friendly terms with lots of girls, which is not only fun but also will be a big help in your quest to meet your future wife—I'll explain why in the next paragraph.

The #1 thing I tell single friends asking for advice on meeting spouses is this statistic from a study I read a while ago: some 75% of relationships begin because mutual friends introduce the couple. Even without this statistic, it's pretty obvious simply from observation that most people meet their spouses through a friend or family member who knows them both. So if you think about it, the odds are very high that your future wife is already currently friends with one of your friends. Isn't that a cool thought? It may be a very unexpected friend—for example, I met my husband through a random acquaintance I barely knew, and never expected to see again (and who ended up being a groomsman at my wedding!)—but the key thing to keep in mind is that you almost certainly already know someone who knows your future wife. So every new person you meet, and every social event you go to, is bringing you one step closer to meeting your wife. To that end, I would recommend developing an active social calendar—trying to go to parties, lectures or happy hours at least 3 nights per week [NB: Around the time I started dating Frank, I was going to 5 or 6 social events per week]. It's better if you can go with a friend or two to boost your confidence, but ideally at least half the people at an event will be strangers to you, since that allows you to expand your social network. Through these events, you'll not only have fun, but you'll also develop ease around eligible girls, and possibly meet a few to ask out on dates. More importantly, if you make friends with girls, they will introduce you to their friends—and again, each new friend is bringing you one step closer.

An important and helpful thing to keep in mind is that girls in happy relationships tend to love matchmaking their friends. This can be a huge boon for you if you take advantage of it. I'll quote here something I said in an earlier email to another guy friend asking for advice on meeting girls: "I would suggest making friends with a group of Catholic girls (through young adult events, or alumni of your college or whatever—basically anyone you feel comfortable with, like, and trust) and try to become good friends with the group without dating any of them. They will probably take you under their wing and start setting you up with their friends. Most girls LOVE looking out for their guy friends and introducing them to girls, especially if the girl herself is already in a relationship—so actually, a good place to start would be asking your guy friends' girlfriends or wives if they know anyone they could introduce you to... Many girls love playing matchmaker, so try to make friends with a good Catholic girl whose judgment you trust and get her on the case of introducing you around. Find a female friend to do the work of finding girls for you. If she is fond of you, and is anything like me and my female friends, she will enjoy it and be happy to help."

Finally, I'd like to recommend a very practical and helpful little article for men looking for tips on dating. There is a wonderful Catholic woman, nicknamed Auntie Seraphic, who blogs for single Catholic women with tips for dating and trying to enjoy the single life. I would not recommend reading most of her blog, as it is very specifically geared towards women, but this one post is written for men and may be of use to you: http://seraphicsinglescummings.blogspot.com/2012/04/what-i-would-tell-men-if-they-asked.html. Hopefully that gives you some idea of where to start. Personally I think it's a very wise and perceptive post.

That's about all I can think of right now. Please let me know if you have any questions. I will keep trying to think of girls who might be a good fit for you, and in the mean time, these tips should give you a good place to start. You'll be in our prayers, and we wish you all the best as you re-enter the dating pool!

Warmly,

Tess (and Frank)

The Story of A Ring

Once upon a time, a million years ago, before Frank and I were ever dating, he was giving me a ride somewhere and I noticed he was wearing a Celtic ring on his right hand.

I didn't know much about this boy back then, but I did know he was a devout Christian. I'd never seen a man wear a ring just for fun, without a deeper meaning, so I assumed it was some kind of promise ring. I even imagined that maybe Frank was saving it to give to his future wife someday, and she would wear it as a necklace.

I had a ridiculous crush on him, and as I looked at his hand on the steering wheel, I thought, "The girl who will get to hold his hand and have that ring is the luckiest woman in the world."

Months and months later, when the unthinkable had happened and my prayers had been answered and we had started dating, I worked up the nerve to ask him about the ring. "Is that a promise ring?"

"This? No," he said. "I'm Irish, so I wear this ring because of its Celtic design." It was one of the first times I realized how proud he was of his Irish heritage. I didn't tell him what I had assumed. In fact I felt a little silly.

Herein lies a lesson: girls shouldn't go around making up imaginary romantic stories about the boys they have crushes on.

But months and months after that, after he had given me a ring of another kind, I told him about what I had thought on that long-ago day and the little fantasy I had concocted. He teased me a little bit—my imagination has always been over-active—but he enjoyed the story. The ring took on a little more meaning.

When he went away to live in Chicago, and I was still living in Virginia, I asked him if I could have his Celtic ring to remember him by. I strung it on a little silver chain and wore it as a necklace. Every time I felt it, I thought of the way it looked on his hand, and I remembered him and missed him. The ring became mine, and I treasure it.

And herein lies a greater lesson: sometimes the wildest and silliest of dreams actually do come true.

Long-Distance Valentine's Day

My mom's pretty little Valentine's Day wreath

This year was my second Valentine's Day with Frank and I wanted to do something extra special. Shawni's cute "heart attack" post inspired me. But how to create that for Frank when he's in Chicago and I'm in Virginia?

Lucky for me, I had an accomplice: my little sister Caroline. It helps that they're living in the same house.

I cut out 36 little paper hearts while I was babysitting a few Saturdays ago (the baby was sleeping), and I mailed them to Caroline a week before Valentine's Day. I told her to wait until Frank went to bed on February 13, and then tape them all over the hallway to his room.

She carried out my instructions to the letter. Just after midnight on Valentine's Day, she sent me a text—"How does this look?"—with a picture attached:

Best little accomplice ever.

Frank was so excited when he found them. On each one I had written something I love about him, and he said he re-read them over and over. I was so happy.

I wanted to give him another gift besides the "heart attack" surprise, but I didn't know what. My inspiration came when he spent the weekend before Valentine's Day visiting his good friend Tanner, and noticed Tanner's wife knitting a scarf. He texted me, "Will you knit me a scarf? I would wear it every day!"

That planted a seed in my mind, and I decided to try to make a scarf for him by Valentine's Day. My sweet roommate Colleen drove me to Michael's for some yarn. The selection wasn't huge. I affectionately call this color "camo green."

As it turns out, I wasn't quite able to finish it in time. But it's almost done, and I've discovered that knitting is the perfect thing to do while watching Downton Abbey! I've finished the first season and most of the second as a result.

When Frank and I reunited on Friday, he gave me some very sweet gifts. He gave me a box of chocolates (which my little siblings adored) and my favorite red roses...

... and he surprised me with a beautiful little globe. The card said that this globe is not just a decoration for our house, but a request. We dream of traveling the world together, and this little globe in our house will be a reminder of that.

I missed Frank so much on the actual day. Although I enjoyed my barbecue party (and several friends got dates out of it! Success!), it wasn't as fun as being with him. But in spite of the distance, it really was a good Valentine's Day.

A Suggestion for Love Day

I didn't know I was obsessed with Valentine's Day until I started reading through the archives of this blog. My goodness, I wrote about it a lot!

There is this lovely memory of last year, my first Valentine with Frank, and this completely unnecessary collection of love poems. There is this not-at-all-embarrassing post I wrote while studying abroad in London (apparently I wrote a lot about food?) and the slightly cringe-inducing one from senior year of college.

This year, my darling valentine is in Chicago, so in keeping with grand old tradition I'm getting together with friends for barbecue tonight. Oh, that isn't the Valentine's day tradition? It is now. :)

When I was single, I always made a point of getting together with friends on this day. It just doesn't do to sit at home alone... even if you've got a pile of Dove chocolates and a good sappy movie to keep you company.   It just isn't the same, so it's best to get out and have some fun. Besides, who doesn't want to celebrate love?

Here's my suggestion for Valentine's Day. If you're single, or your valentine is long-distance, get a group of friends together. Make especially sure to include single friends and anyone you know who might be on their own. Maybe you can sit with other girls and tell the stories of how your parents met. Maybe you can have a pint or some brisket with your guy friends. Do whatever makes you happy and spreads some good cheer. There are many kinds of love in this world, and I think this day can celebrate them all.

What's your Valentine's Day philosophy? Are you doing anything special to celebrate today?

I hope you get some Dove chocolate!

Happy Valentine's Day, dear friends!

A Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Frank and I visited the pumpkin patch last week to get some pumpkins and mums for my house.

Frank inspected every flower pot and pumpkin with great care. Nothing but the best, you know.

And I swooned over his ginger beard that is starting to grow in. It's so funny... before I met Frank I thought facial hair was kinda gross. Now I think it's absolutely dapper and the greatest look on a man.

You can just call him Mr. Autumn Man... his friends and I all do. ;)

Decorative gourds!!! Oh man... I love fall.

We loaded our finds onto a little red wagon.

Then we finished browsing the pumpkin patch and stopped at the grocery store on our way home.

Back at home, we set up our decorations around the house. A pot of mums in the Map Room and on the dining room table...

And a pumpkin with mums on either side of the front door.

The pumpkins and flowers looked awesome on the front porch.

Also, please ignore our ghetto couch. It belongs to the girls upstairs and we're all kind of wondering when they're going to get rid of it. Yikes. (UPDATE: This morning when I left for work, I saw that the couch was out on the curb! Finally! Thank goodness.)

Once the fall decorating was done, it was time to start planning a party. After all, it's not fall without a good old-fashioned Oktoberfest bash! Stay tuned for the party update in Wednesday's post. 

Also, happy feast of St. Teresa of Avila - my patron! This is always a special day for me and I'm hoping to celebrate a little bit with my friends.

That Man of Mine

Frank's law school has spring break next week. That means this week is incredibly busy for him, with lots of papers to write and tests to study for. We knew we wouldn't be able to see each other this week as much as we normally do.

I had resigned myself to this fate and I was determined to be supportive. We weren't able to see each other yesterday. So last night, when I asked him on the phone "Will I see you tomorrow?" and he said regretfully, "No," my heart broke a little bit. I had promised myself to be supportive, so I said, "Ok. That will just make it better next time we do see each other!" But secretly I felt like I would absolutely die if I had to go two whole days in a row without seeing him, even though I kept that thought to myself.

And then, just a few minutes ago, I was sitting at my desk working on a writing project when I got a text message from my love.

"Run out the back door towards the elevators," he wrote.

Amazed, wondering, and full of excited anticipation, I went out to find him waiting in the hallway. Not only had he surprised me with a visit at work, but he had even brought me a hot cup of delicious vanilla tea from the coffee shop down the street. I died.

He was only able to stay for a few minutes, but in those minutes, we were able to have a good conversation. He teased me about my hairstyle (braids over my head like a Swedish milkmaid) and said he was going to call me Ingrid, which made me laugh. We also took a few moments to pray together for some of our biggest intentions.

On that note, dear blog readers, please keep Frank and I in your prayers. There has been some resistance to his conversion from some of his family, and we're in the midst of trying to assuage everyone's concerns and soothe feelings. It's hard to know how best to handle everything. We can use your kind prayers and good wishes.

But family or no family, I can tell you this: that man makes my heart beat faster. Every day he sweeps me off my feet. I am constantly in awe of the beautiful, thoughtful things he does. No matter what we might have to go through in the future, I know that today I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Target and the Catechism and Being in Love

Frank met with Father Paul on Friday night. Father was very impressed with his progress. "You already think like a Catholic," he said. "Now we just need to get you caught up on theology." So for homework, he told Frank to read the Baltimore Catechism. He also invited Frank to come to a special dinner on Sunday night for all the people entering the Church this year.

Have you ever read the Baltimore Catechism? It's a book written especially for children that lays out the Catholic Church's teachings in a simple, question-and-answer format. I was lucky enough to go to an old-fashioned school where I had to memorize a lot of the answers from it. I've been teasing Frank that we can quiz each other on it.

On Saturday, I spent the entire day cleaning my apartment. It had been a while since I'd done that, so I put on music and had a mini dance party while cleaning. I always put off cleaning for ages because I hate doing it, but when I was done, it felt great. In the evening, Frank and I went to dinner with a group of our friends, and then we went swing dancing!

On Sunday, Frank picked me up at 10 and we went to 10:30 Mass together, as usual. We spent half the Mass baby-watching, as we can't seem to help doing at St. John's. We said hello to Father Paul and asked if I could come to the dinner that night with Frank, which Father said was fine. Then we went out for brunch at a restaurant near my house called Faccia Luna, where we had delicious crepes and mimosas (of course).

Then came a trip to Target, which, if you know of my love for Target, you will know was basically the highlight of my weekend. Frank and I were on a hunt to find a scrapbook which we will use to record our adventures together and the things we hope to do in the future, much like the adventure book from Up. Sadly, Target did not have anything suitable. So we agreed to try a scrapbook store some time soon, and wait until we find the perfect book.

Although we didn't find a scrapbook, I was suddenly seized by a need to take a picture of ourselves "just doing ordinary everyday things." So we paused in the lamp aisle to take this beauty:

Because I'm suchhhh a good photographer. I think we really need someone other than me to take pictures of us. Anyone feel like volunteering? Maria? Jenna?

We bought a cart full of groceries and a giant hula hoop, because I had been desperately craving one for some time. I wore the hula hoop across my body like a sash until we got into the car. I also hung on to the front of the shopping cart while Frank pushed it to his car, re-affirming that my inner age is about 6 (in case anyone had any doubts about that).

We hung out at my apartment for a while, just talking. I pulled out my journal and read him some of the entries from when I first started to like him. The first time he appeared in my journal, I described him as a "goofball" - ha! It's actually pretty accurate. We had a long talk comparing our different versions of how and why we started to date. It was really interesting, and before we knew it, it was time to go back to St. John's for the dinner.

The drive to St. John's was pure magic. I don't know what it was - perhaps the fact that we had just shared so many deep thoughts with each other - but we were both feeling very happy and very, very in love. Frank put on a cassette of old Irish songs (yes, he listens to cassette tapes. Could he be more adorably old-fashioned?) and as the songs he loved came on, he sang along in an endearing Irish brogue.

There was a moment when - how do I describe it? We were holding hands across the transmission and he was singing about an Irish man who fell in love with a Spanish lady... just like us. He looked at me and smiled, his eyes so full of love, and at that moment my heart felt so full that I didn't know whether to laugh or cry with happiness. So I did neither; I simply smiled back, and wished that I could bottle up that moment and save it for ever.

I felt, deep in my bones, that it was worth it. For that moment, everything was worth it. The long years waiting to meet him were worth it, and the sorrow and hardship that I know will someday come will be worth it too. For the little moments like that, the moments when I know he is as crazy about me as I am about him, everything is worth it.

When we got to the church, we went to the parish center, where a nice little dinner had been set up with white tablecloths and multiple courses. We met the other people entering the church, most of whom were there with their spouses or their Confirmation sponsors, so Frank and I laughed a little bit about being the odd ones out (we've decided that it's best for me not to be his sponsor). The best part of the evening was getting to hang out with Father Paul. He is even more awesome than I realized. We even found out that he was prom king in high school!

We talked about Frank's "homework" and I told Father Paul how I had to memorize parts of the Baltimore Catechism as a child. "What's a sacrament?" he promptly asked. I paused for just a moment before saying, "An outward sign instituted by God to give grace!" He smiled and said, "Instituted by Christ. But yes. That's what's so great about the Baltimore Catechism - you have these really good theological answers firmly lodged in your brain."

After dinner, Frank and I weren't ready to end the evening just yet. So we went into downtown DC and drove around looking at all the monuments. I gave thanks yet again for living in this beautiful city, and for this very blessed time in our lives.

The Best Gift

Yesterday Frank gave me perhaps the best Valentine's gift I could have received, and he didn't even realize it until later.

You see, dear readers, there is something I haven't told you about in all the happiness and excitement over my relationship with Frank. Something has been bothering my heart. A little thing, but enough to cast a dark and persistent shadow over our sunny joy.

Frank isn't Catholic. Or rather, he is a Catholic in what he jokingly calls "very bad standing." Frank was baptized Catholic as an infant but his parents left the faith when he was a toddler. He was raised in a Protestant church.

But Frank is a seeker of truth and a passionate lover of Christ. And as many of us believe, the place where Christ and the Truth intersect is in the Catholic Church.

Before he had even met me, Frank began his journey home. Independently of the rest of his family, Frank left the church of his childhood. He read the early Church Fathers and became Anglican. Before we even started dating, he was reading Catholic authors and conversion stories. His eager mind was seeking the place where his faith in Christ could finally come to rest.

When we first started dating three weeks ago, his mind was not made up. And I was full of hesitation. My faith is so important to me. It's central to who I am as a person. I had always promised myself that I would never marry someone who wasn't Catholic. Was it safe to even date someone who didn't share this most fundamental thing with me?

He too had his hesitations. Can you imagine how hard it would be to get used to Mary and the saints if you didn't know them growing up? And the Real Presence in the Eucharist? What about the supremacy of the Holy Father? It must have bewildering for him. I'm sure it sometimes seems to him as though I'm speaking a strange and foreign language when I talk about my faith. Novena prayers and Tridentine Masses and patron saints and Memorare campaigns - we Catholics live in a whole different religious universe.

But my Frank is as brave as he is smart. He has read and studied and prayed. I have prayed a whole lot too, and beseeched my friends and family members to pray. I asked all the saints in Heaven and especially Matthew for their intercession. And yesterday, he said it. He's made up his mind. It's official. Frank is going to enter the Church.

John Henry Newman, Frank's patron

Readers, I don't even know if I can convey to you the measure of my happiness today. I hoped for this, I prayed for this, but I hardly dared to let myself imagine it. I wanted it so badly but didn't dare assume it would come to pass - and certainly not so quickly. Yet here it is. Before yesterday, it seemed unfair to Frank and me that God would make us so compatible and then separate us because of our religious difference. And now it looks as though that religious difference will be no more.

Of course the process is just beginning. There is a lot that Frank has yet to learn, although he has already covered so much ground - the things he knows and does never fail to impress me. For example, he actually went and bought himself his own Daily Roman Missal, just like mine, so he can learn about the Liturgy and do the daily Mass readings too! But despite his studying, we both know the process will be a long one. He has to make his First Confession and First Communion, and he needs to be confirmed. He might have to go through RCIA. This is all so new. We're not sure yet where to start.

But for now, all I know is that he said it. He desires it. He is willing and eager to return to the Faith. We will be able to go up to Communion together instead of me leaving him in the pew week after week.

I know the road ahead is a long one and there is still a lot he will have to overcome. But readers, all I can think of is that line from the Bible, a line so old, beautiful and true - "I have told you this... so that your joy may be complete." And today, it is.

Happy First...

I am feeling a little spoiled today. Roses did indeed come to my desk at work, and part of me squirmed a little over what Auntie said about that subject, but that quickly subsided into a huge smile and feelings of gratitude. This girlfriend thing is still so new that I haven't yet had a chance to sink into relationship smugness - and I hope to goodness I never do. Those of you who know me in person, please notify me immediately if I ever get smug, and I'll give myself a stern talking-to.

With the roses came a note, my favorite line of which was, "Happy First Valentine's Day." The first. Yes. Exactly.

My primary feeling on this holiday of love, and for the past two weeks, has been one of profound wonder. I feel amazed. Although we had been friends since July, Frank's love came into my life very suddenly and unexpectedly. Yet so quickly I have found in him a "kindred spirit," someone I feel I can trust completely, someone who understands my quirks, someone whose goodness inspires me and who opens my mind to vast and unexplored horizons. I can't help feeling undeserving of this gift. It feels exactly like it was described in this article. I know I didn't do anything to merit this or to make it happen; God in His infinite kindness simply dropped this into my life, in His own time and on His schedule and plan. The whole thing is rather a mystery to me, and a source of great joy.

I sent this little image to Frank the other day and we had a good laugh over it. I think in a way it symbolizes our love. We both have spontaneous, adventurous spirits - we enjoy quoting Chesterton's line that "An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered." When I'm with him, I can't help feeling that our great adventure is just beginning.

The Best Love Poems

In honor of Valentine's Day, I compiled a list of the best love poems, tailored to various situations. I hope you enjoy them!

For the light and playful love which is built nonetheless on a sturdy foundation... Sonnet 18 from William Shakespeare.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

For the lovers whose souls are intimately, inextricably intertwined... Sonnet 17 by Pablo Neruda.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

For the lovers who must be apart from each other, because of distance or time... i carry your heart with me(i carry it in by e e cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

For the high-minded and noble love... How Do I Love Thee? by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

For the one who foresees suffering and troubles ahead, but is confident that Love will last... Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare.

SONNET 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

For the fanciful, fairy-tale-like, and rather excessively dramatic love... Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe

[excerpt]
But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

For the lovers who have been married to each other for many years... John Anderson, My Jo' by Robert Burns (see here if the words don't make sense to you).

John Anderson, my Jo, John,
When we were first acquent,
Your locks were like the raven,
Your bonnie brow was brent;
But now your brow is beld, John, 
Your locks are like the snow;
But blessings on your frosty pow,
John Anderson, my jo!

John Anderson, my jo, John,
We clamb the hill thegither; 
And monie a canty day, John,
We've had wi' ane anither:
Now we maun totter down, John,
But hand in hand we'll go,
And sleep thegither at the foot, 
John Anderson, my jo.

For the lover who is fighting for a greater cause... To Lucasta, on going to the Wars by Richard Lovelace

Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms I fly.

True, a new mistress now I chase, 
The first foe in the field;
And with a stronger faith embrace
A sword, a horse, a shield.

Yet this inconstancy is such
As you too shall adore; 
I could not love thee, Dear, so much,
Loved I not Honour more.

For the lover who keenly senses that time is fleeting... Bright Star by John Keats

Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art 
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night, 
And watching, with eternal lids apart, 
Like nature's patient sleepless eremite, 
The moving waters at their priestlike task 
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores, 
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask 
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors; 
No yet still steadfast, still unchangeable, 
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast, 
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell, 
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest, 
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath, 
And so live ever or else swoon to death.

For the wife who feels well-satisfied in her choice of husband... To My Dear and Loving Husband by Anne Bradstreet

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.
I prize thy love more than whole mines of gold,
Or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.
Thy love is such I can no way repay;
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persever,
That when we live no more we may live ever.

For the man who has a tendency to idolize the woman he loves... She Walks in Beauty by Lord Byron

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that 's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light 
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face; 
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow, 
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

And finally, I will close with a quote from my very favorite play of all time, Cyrano de Bergerac, discussing "What is a kiss?"

After all, what is a kiss? A vow made at closer range, a more precise promise, a confession that contains its own proof, a seal placed on a pact that has already been signed; it’s a secret told to the mouth rather than to the ear, a fleeting moment filled with the hush of eternity, a communion that has the fragrance of a flower, a way of living by the beat of another heart, and tasting another soul on one's lips!

These Past Days

I've been battling a cold that has put me a little out of commission. But I'm working away on my writing and hoping to get some big things published soon!

I got back from Yale on Tuesday night. Frank picked me up at Union Station and we stopped by the local grocery store, Harris Teeter, to buy supplies for a midnight feast back at my place. Then he left and I collapsed into bed.

On Wednesday, I was exhausted. The past two days had been so taxing. I was sick, and still pretty sleep-deprived. But there was a big event going on at the CIC and I didn't want to miss it. Frank had too much homework to go out that night, so I convinced Lee to accompany me instead.

But as it turns out, that goofy Lee and a sleepy me are not the best combination at serious events. He found a rack of greeting cards with rather cheesy, emotional sayings on them. At especially solemn moments in the discussion, when everyone around us was attentive and quiet, he would hold up a card for me to see that said something like, "I think of you so often during the day, my friend." Then we would both collapse into muffled laughter, earning the baleful stares of everyone standing near us. It was hilarious.

A lot of people I knew were at the event, but considering my silly mood, I decided not to stay and chat - especially after I accidentally walked into someone and then hit another person with my lunchbox. It turns out that when I'm tired, I don't get grumpy or quiet - I get unusually klutzy. So I corralled Lee and our other good friend Patrick and we all went out for dinner at one of my favorite Arlington restaurants. We even got cupcakes, which put me in a much happier mood.

Yesterday I finished up my big article about Yale, turned it in to the editors, and breathed a huge sigh of relief. Than Frank picked me up from work so we could go to a Scotch & Cigars event in honor of the big conference going on this weekend.

But when we got there, it was packed with so many people that we could hardly move. All the cigar smoke started to bother Frank's lungs. On top of that, almost everyone there was male. There were seriously like 3 girls in the room besides me. There was a time when those odds would have thrilled me, but last night they just made me feel tired. I only wanted to hang out with Frank.

We exchanged a wide-eyed glance. "Want to leave?" I asked. "Yes!" He responded immediately.

So we hit the road and went out for dinner at a barbecue restaurant instead. It was awesome - there we were in our fancy outfits, digging into a rack of ribs, potato salad, corn pudding and french fries. We had so much fun playing hooky from the conference. It was yet another confirmation (as if I needed one!) that this man and I are really on the same page, in so many silly and awesome and ridiculous ways.

My mom called me on our way to dinner, so I let Frank talk to her on the phone. Then he talked to my little sister Angela for a while. She found it highly suspicious that he knew what her favorite poem was. Turns out that he really listens to the stories I tell him about my family. He told me again and again how excited he is to meet all of them. I'm excited too. Family, I think you will love him.

After dinner we decided to go for a walk and ended up at a church near me, St. Agnes. We sat on a bench outside the church and had a long, serious, yet gentle conversation about the role faith plays in our lives. It was awesome.

We decided that we want to create some little traditions for ourselves. Specifically, Sunday traditions. Last Sunday we went to Mass together, cooked brunch at my apartment and then did "homework" together in the afternoon - I put "homework" in quotation marks because he actually did homework, while I worked on writing a letter to my little sister Cathy who is studying abroad in Spain. That day was so much fun that we've decided to try to do it every Sunday, if we can.

And now, it's Friday! Hurray! Frank and I are going to a reception this evening and then back to my apartment to get work done (seriously. I know, so lame to be working on a Friday night. But we're doing it together and that makes it sound kinda fun). Happy Friday to you!

Adventures with Frank

I'd like to introduce you to Frank and share some of the fun adventures we've been having. 

I've told you before how I don't really partake in the typical activities of a 22-year-old. It turns out that Frank doesn't either! To my utter and complete surprise, it turns out there actually are other people in the world who think like me. Crazy, right?  Those other people's names are Frank, in case you were wondering.

On Tuesday Jan 31, we went to the National Portrait Gallery and he showed me his favorite painting and even taught me some things I didn't know about the American painters featured. I never thought I would meet a guy who is as enamored with art as I am!

On Saturday Feb 5th we got all dressed up and went to a Mardi Gras party. Frank has read all of the Anne of Green Gables books (no I know) and he channels Gilbert perfectly.

I think we looked pretty dapper, if I do say so myself.

Now, the last picture is our crowning glory. I have to tell you a story leading up to it so you get the full effect.

Back in December, I was going on a long car trip with Frank, and I wanted to bring my knitting along for the drive. I almost always knit on car trips. It's a fun, productive activity that you can do while carrying on a conversation with your fellow passengers.

At that point, though, we weren't dating yet. I didn't even have a clue that he liked me yet. I wanted to make a good impression. So before we left, I got on Skype with my sister and my best friend Maggie.

"Should I bring my knitting along on the car trip with Frank?" I asked.

They met my suggestion with howls of protest.

"He'll think you're a grandma," said Maggie.

"Don't you dare," said Lillian, "unless you never want to date him."

Because I am a very contrary person, I wanted to prove them wrong. So I promptly text messaged Frank: "Would you mind if I brought knitting on the car ride?"

He wrote back, "Not at all."

But when the time for the car trip came around, I chickened out. I couldn't do it. I brought my knitting along but I simply left it in my purse. I didn't want him to think I was a grandma, after all.

But as it turns out, my boyfriend likes girls who knit.

We went to a Super Bowl party on Sunday and I brought my knitting along in my purse. When I got bored watching football, I simply pulled out my little project and knitted contentedly. Frank sat next to me, equally contented. And just to prove my point, I took a picture and sent it to Lillian.

He knows the real me, the girl who knits and swing dances and memorizes poetry and likes to pretend she's a Jane Austen heroine. He loves the real me, just as I am.

I don't know if it can get any luckier than that.