Double baptism + giveaway winner!

Thanks to everyone who entered the giveaway! I loved reading about all your cool traditions and days that are special to you. The winner was Claire Rebecca. Claire Rebecca, please email me at tmcbarber@gmail.com so we can work out getting the book to you!

Frankie and his "twin cousin" were baptized together on Sunday. The ceremony was beautiful!

I had hoped for a peaceful, happy baby, but after sleeping all through Mass, Frankie decided to throw propriety to the winds and scream bloody murder through the ceremony. Silly baby!

Have you heard the superstition that a baby who cries at his baptism is going to have a religious vocation? Frank said, "If it's true that a baby who cries is destined to become a priest, I think our boy is going to be the first North American pope!"

Meanwhile, his sweet little cousin slept angelically through the whole thing!

My sister and her husband were Frankie's godparents. 

And my parents were godparents to my sister's baby.

 

How does your family pick godparents? I was raised with the idea that godparents should be family members, since that offers some guarantee that they will remain a part of your child's life and you won't lose touch with them. But I know a lot of people choose friends or spiritual mentors instead, and really, it's not fair to Frank if we always go with a "family only" rule since none of his family is Catholic. Stuff to consider for the future!

After the baptism, we had a party at my parents' house to celebrate the babies, and took a million photos of all the family members with Frankie.

Here is my side of the family—Frankie with his dad, uncle, grandfather and great-grandfather. As you can see, Frankie was really loving life that day. :p

And with the Barber side of the family—uncle, grandpa and dad:

We did get one picture where Frankie wasn't screaming! He just looks deeply offended. Here are all three of the Frank Barbers:

And here are "the five Franks"—from left to right, my godfather Uncle Frank, my father-in-law Frank, baby Francisco, my husband Frank and my grandfather Francisco. Man, there are a lot of Franks in my life!

 

I also got some "four generations" pictures with my grandparents—here I am with my dad and his mom:

And my mom with her mom:

It was so special to have my grandparents there to meet the babies. They were so happy to meet their first great-grandchildren. My mom's mom never wanted to let them out of her sight!

Later in the day, Frankie calmed down a bit. My new favorite photo of him is this one that Kathryn took, in a darling outfit she gave him:

Aaaaaand last but not least... I thought you guys might enjoy this hilarious picture that my little sister put on Facebook in honor of Father's Day. It's from a family vacation about 16 years ago.

Is my dad not the original hipster? And can you tell which one is me?

I Want My Kids to Learn Spanish

This morning before work I stopped at the cobbler shop to pick up two pairs of heels I needed to have resoled.

I got there and the three dudes behind the counter were talking rapidly in Spanish. Wordlessly I handed one my ticket and he went to retrieve my shoes. But pretty soon he hit a snag.

"I can't find her shoes," he told the others in Spanish.

Dude #2 went to help him look and after several minutes of searching they came back with one pair.

"I gave them to him," I said in English, pointing at Dude #3.

The three of them gathered around a notebook of sales and started arguing in Spanish about my shoes.

"She had two pairs! Where's the second pair?" "Were they both black?" "No, she wouldn't bring in two black pairs!" "Yes, the second one had a point."

Ok, ok. Enough was enough. I interrupted them in Spanish.

"I brought in two black pairs. The other pair had a pointy toe, like he said."

They stared at me, dumbfounded, and then started to laugh.

"Where did you learn Spanish? You don't have an accent!"

"I'm Cuban. I learned from my parents and grandparents."

After that I became their new best friend. They explained that Dude #3 had "just fallen in love" so he "couldn't remember anything." "You'll understand when you fall in love," they said wisely. I laughed.

Those moments are so awesome, when I get to use my rusty but native Spanish and shock the heck out of whoever I'm talking to. It's come in handy more times than I can count. And it's fantastic for eavesdropping. ;)

I'm grateful my parents had the foresight to pass on their first language to me. Even though my Spanish is reeeeeeally rusty, I hope I can pass it on to my children too.

The Luxury of A Last Name

Sometimes Frank and I jokingly throw around names that we like for our future kids (even though we are a long way off from having any yet!).

The problem is we're both kind of picky.

I like names that are unusual and old-fashioned: Jonathan, Benedict, Sebastian, Francisco (my grandfather's name). Lydia, Beatrice, Cynthia, Catherine. I don't like anything in the top 40 or that reminds me of an inanimate object.

Frank likes names that are original but not unusual. In fact his two favorite names - Olivia and Sophia - are currently numbers 2 and 3 (although hipster Frank liked them long before they were cool). I hear those names and think "olive" and "soapy." Not my favorites.

Ok... maybe it's just me who's picky.

I don't think we'll reach a consensus any time soon (good thing we have years before we need to decide).

In high school I would fill the backs of my notebooks with lists of baby names when I was bored in class (please tell me I'm not the only one!). But I could never pick a favorite because I never knew what the last name would be.

Now when I play the name game, I finally know the last name they'll go with. It makes the game so much more fun. :)

First Sunday of Advent

Today was our first First Sunday of Advent together.

I bought a base and candles at the National Basilica weeks ago and today we bought our wreath, which was 60 percent off at Michaels - score!

Frank picked out the wreath, and he set up the base, wreath, and candles while I prepared dinner - beef and broccoli from Trader Joe's. Doesn't everyone have frozen Chinese food for the first Sunday of Advent? ;)

He did a beautiful job.

Before lighting it, we read the Blessing of an Advent Wreath prayer and the first verse of "O Come, O Come Emmanuel."

How I love the rhythms and rituals of our faith. They weave the years together so beautifully.

Tradition is the glue that binds people together, and I talk all the time about the importance of creating traditions within the family (seriously, all the time... Frank can tell you). It felt so special to begin this little tradition with him.

We also set up our Nativity scene for the first time.

We picked out this Fontanini Nativity while we were in Chicago over Thanksgiving, and my parents bought it for us as a gift.

Frank unwrapped Joseph and I unwrapped Mary. Baby Jesus is still in his box, waiting for Christmas Day. Just three more weeks to go.

Frank had to leave after dinner to study ... boo law school. But he texted me on the way home: "We have traditions!!! ;D" and I grinned from ear to ear. Looks like I'm not the only one who loves traditions.

Resources for Converts: Common Catholic Prayers

Being a convert to Catholicism is confusing!

Not only do you have a whole new theology to learn, but there's also all this stuff you have to figure out -- funny Catholic things like scapulars, indulgences, the Rosary, and even just genuflecting in church.

Besides the prayers in the Mass, there are a number of other little prayers that Catholics memorize and whip out for all kinds of occasions. After Frank entered the Church in May, he was excited to profess the teachings he had studied for years, but a lot of the cultural practices threw him for a loop—like when my family said the Angelus at noon, or when our congregation recited the St. Michael the Archangel prayer after daily Mass.

So in order to acclimate him to some Catholic habits of prayer, I compiled a little guide to common Catholic prayers. I included descriptions of when each prayer is used, which Frank said he found helpful.

If you know someone who might find these guides helpful, here are links to them:

A Compendium of Common Catholic Prayers

I also made a little "Rosary cheat sheet" so he can follow along easily when we pray the rosary together:

Rosary "Cheat Sheet"

And the disclaimer that I told Frank:

Although a lot of the enclosed are prayers that Catholics have memorized, definitely don't feel the need to memorize them immediately, or work them into your schedule right away (although if you want to, great!). This is supposed to be a resource you can come back to over time.

In addition to this very simple little guide, I also love the Handbook of Prayers (or even the more extensive Daily Roman Missal) if you want to delve more deeply into the rituals of daily prayer.

Another really helpful resource is the Magnificat, a monthly subscription with the daily Scripture readings for Mass, AND lovely little meditations and prayers for each day. It's a wonderful guide!

Readers, do you know someone who might find this helpful? Or do you have any other prayers you would suggesting adding to my little list?


Suggestions from readers:

Deanna recommends the Miles Christi prayer book - "it's got everything!"

Holly recommends the NAC Manual of Prayers - she says, "When my house was broken into last year, I was more upset to lose this than my laptop." Convinced me! :)

Travel // Marriage // Motherhood

Source

Motherhood has been on my mind a lot lately. First, I went to my first baby shower on Saturday morning, for the wife of Frank's college friend. Second, Frank and I babysat on Saturday afternoon for one of his law school friends. Her two-year-old, Mack, has ginger hair and chubby cheeks, very sweet manners, and best of all is an enormous football fan. After dinner he stood in front of the TV and pointed at it, saying "Footbaw! Footbaw!" until we turned on the Alabama-A&M game. Then he ran around excitedly whenever the players ran, gave us high-fives on command, and echoed everything Frank said ("Good catch!" said Frank; "Catch! Catch!" Mack repeated and vigorously nodded his head). We were dying. Not to get ahead of ourselves here, but Frank told me afterwards that it made him really excited to have kids.

Then, while we were babysitting, my best friend Maggie called me and I found out she is expecting her first baby!!! I almost cried with happiness. I love Maggie so much and the thought of meeting and holding her little one brings such joy. I don't even know yet if this baby is a boy or a girl, but I already know I'm going to love this little one so much. Maggie is due a month and a half after my wedding and I'm hoping to travel to be with her before and after the birth, and hopefully help with anything she needs.

At Maggie's wedding

After going to the baby shower, hearing about Maggie, and babysitting Mack, I had dinner with one of my friends Sunday night. We talked about our plans for the future and what the next few years will look like. She is in grad school and has plans to study in Europe next year. I meanwhile told her about Frank's and my results when we took the FOCCUS test last week. Frank and I found ourselves in perfect agreement about lifestyle expectations and parenting: we are both fully committed to our vision that he will be work outside the home while I stay home with our children, and also that I will keep writing on the side and he will be a very involved husband and dad. We know those choices might mean we won't have a lot of extra money, but we think our time is much more valuable to our family than money. Yesterday I found this quote that beautifully sums it all up:

Source

I had a brief moment of envy on Sunday as I heard my friend describe her plans to travel and see the world, but it died away quickly. The thing is, I've been there; I studied in London and have been lucky enough to travel all over Europe and even to Israel. I know that travel can be lonely and doesn't actually make me happy. Knowing my personality, I have a sneaking suspicion that motherhood is going to make me much happier and more fulfilled than traveling ever could. I know it's not for everyone, but I'm looking forward so much to this next great adventure.

On a lighter note, lately I've been sending Grace's Simon Says posts to Frank whenever they come out. Frank says they're the only mommy blog posts he actually enjoys (and I send a lot of them so he knows what he's talking about). Anyway, Frank made a funny comment on Saturday about something Mack did, and after I had finished laughing, he smiled very proudly and said, "Didn't that sound like something that Simon would say?"

Aiming to be as witty as Simon Patton... Frank's new goal in life. :P

For Our Children

Dear children,

Last week I read this article in the Huff Post about moms being in the picture with their children. Your father-to-be does not like being in pictures at all (as I'm sure you are aware) so I sent him this article as proof that he should let me take more pictures of the two of us being young and happy and in love.

I'm sure by the time you read this you will be well aware that things aren't always perfect between us two. You will know that I tend to stress out over little details and work myself into a frenzy of worrying (you can imagine what wedding planning is doing to me). Fortunately Frank is quite good at calming me down and reminding me about what really matters, although he often gets a little worried about things too. Being engaged to get married while a third-year law student will do that to you.

You know that I'm not very patient and not very organized (although I'm trying oh-so-hard to get better at both!). You will know that Frank does not like large crowds and people being loud, unhelpful, and rude - for example when we went to a special Mass on Sunday that went on forever and had lots of noisy people talking all through the service, which stressed the poor man out to no end. You will know all these things, and probably lots more of our flaws besides.

Despite the little arguments and worries we have, this is a really good time for both of us. Frank is working his butt off with school and his job, but he is almost done and very excited to be wrapping things up. I'm so proud of how hard he works. As for me, I love where I live and I think I have the best roommates (and the best house) in the world. I really enjoy my work as an editor and everything it is teaching me - although I still daydream all the time about being a full-time wife and a mother to you someday. I'm so grateful that your father-to-be shares this dream and wants, as much as I do, to make it a reality.

The funny thing about Frank and me is that, while we are definitely homebodies, we consider every day an adventure. We love to do little things like get pumpkin spice lattes together, or try out a new recipe, or sit and watch classic movies under a warm blanket on cold nights  - and it is in the context of these little things that we are at our happiest. You'll probably think your parents are the most boring, old-fashioned people in the world, but someday we hope you'll appreciate how we try to prioritize our relationship and our time with family, friends, and with God over everything else. I always think of that charming quote from Hilaire Belloc: "From quiet homes and first beginnings, out to the undiscovered ends, there’s nothing worth the wear of winning but laughter and the love of friends." We think we are the luckiest people in the world to have found someone who cherishes these same things too.

We are both planners, Frank and I. Planners and doers and a little bit of perfectionists. We've already started talking about how we want to raise you. We want to give you the gift of a simple life - a childhood free of video games and technological gadgets and a lot of this silly clutter that the modern world gives us. Sometimes when I babysit, I can't believe the piles of pink plastic junk that fills the little girls' rooms, or the way some of the little boys are already glued to the TV screen and can barely function without an iPad movie at bedtime. We want something different for you - something simpler and gentler and more carefree. We're not yet all that clear on how we're going to do that, and we occasionally discuss the merits of Montessori schools vs. homeschooling vs. small classical Catholic schools. We do know that however we raise you, we want to be united 100% on our strategy, and we want to give you the gift first and foremost of knowing that you are deeply and unconditionally loved. We spend a lot of time daydreaming about being parents... although we're a couple of babies ourselves, hardly more than teenagers. But parenthood is something we have both wanted since we were very young. We hope you will know how much you have been wanted and planned for and loved even years before you were born.

Our lives are going to change so much in the years ahead... first with our marriage, and then in the years when we have babies. I know that my happy little, not-yet-married, 23-year-old brain can't even imagine how different my life will look in 10 or 15 years. I do know one thing: your father-to-be is the man I want by my side as we go through all the craziness ahead. He makes me laugh and he's really smart and he just gets me, you know? And he's the best and kindest man I've ever met. It's going to be tough at times... but I know we're going to be happy.

So, dear children, here is a little love note from your future parents. I want you to know how excited we are for you to get here someday. But I also want you to know that we loved each other long before you ever appeared on the scene... and we always will, long after you're gone and have left the nest. With all these pictures and stories and silly anecdotes, I hope you get a little taste of just how much.

Lots of love,

your future mom and dad