7 Quick Takes

I think this is the second, maybe third, time I've ever done 7QT. But I had all these stray photos hanging out on my phone, none worth their own blog post, so I figured I'd jump on Jen's awesome bandwagon.

1. Today is the feast of St. Francis—which means it's my husband's feast day!

Frank was raised Protestant so this was his first time celebrating his saint's day.

I, meanwhile, was raised in a Cuban family that made a huge deal out of saint's days. It's like another birthday for us.

So I started the day off right with a big homemade breakfast to surprise him when he woke up...

I really wanted to have a cake or cupcake for him, but I ran out of time to make anything big. A Buzzfeed article inspired me to make a mug cake instead. That's the thing in the blue bowl. I even stuck a candle on top—so fancy. :)

Happy feast day to all Franks, Francises, and Franciscos out there—and especially to Pope Francis!

2. My mom bought me this darling handmade wreath last time we went to Naper Settlement:

It's been making me really happy lately. It brightens up our home so much.

2. Every day on the drive home, I pass "my favorite house" down the street. I can't get enough of those pretty flowers growing all over the porch:

Isn't that an impressive garden for a crowded little city street? Someday I hope to meet the talented gardener and compliment him/her on the lovely work.

3. It's been unseasonably warm these past few days. When work allows it, I like to sneak out to the quad and eat lunch on the grass.

Sometimes I even slip off my shoes and bask in the sunshine. :)

Indian Summer, you stay as long as you like.

4. I can't thank Jen enough for linking to this amazing website and in particular this list of organizational tips. I've been trying to incorporate a few of those into my life.

My favorite so far is the tip to line clothes up horizontally in drawers, so everything is visible:

It's already made my life so much easier and neater!

5. Going back to the topic of breakfast, lately I've been addicted to crunchy peanut butter on whole grain toast (with a side of orange juice, of course):

Smooth peanut butter doesn't quite do it for me, but crunchy just hits the spot.

Is that weird—peanut butter for breakfast? I never had it for breakfast before, but lately I really love it.

6. Katrina inspired me to make this amazing one-pot mac and cheese. I was inspired to get all Pioneer Woman and take photos of the process...

This is what happens when I have too much time on my hands.

First up, "The Cast of Characters"

Just-added-to-the-pot elbow pasta plus butter and milk:

Adding in the cheese. MMMM.

(I think I need to clean my stove.)

Aaaannnnnnd the finished product. Ta-da!

That was a fun one to make and just as easy as it sounds. I'll definitely be adding it to the regular rotation.

7. The last take is actually the most important. I have an exciting announcement to share!

You guys know how interested I am in Montessori education, mostly thanks to my awesome friend Ruth who runs a Montessori school in Virginia.

For a while I thought about training to be a Montessori teacher, but the time and money commitment was too much for this stage in my life.

Ruth suggested that I train in the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd instead—the Montessori method of religious education. The training is a lot less intense, and you can easily find work on a part-time or volunteer basis. Considering I work full-time at the university, that low commitment sounded perfect.

I began looking into Catechesis of the Good Shepherd (CGS) training courses in my area, and this week I made the jump and registered for one. The classes start on Saturday and run until April 2015 (just one class per month).

I'm so excited to begin this course! Yesterday I bought a pretty new notebook for the class, and when I got home I organized all my course materials in a nice stack on my dresser. It felt like back-to-school, for the first time in three years. :)

Wish me luck!

All about Montessori: Part 3 and Recommended Resources

Part 1: Four Planes of Development
Part 2: The Prepared Environment

For those who missed Parts 1 and 2, this is a set of notes I took at a Montessori workshop in March.

My disclaimer: nothing expressed here is my own opinion. I didn't write this material, just copied it down, and I don't necessarily agree with all of it. Discussion is welcome, either over email or in the comments.

Also, there's a list of recommended resources at the bottom. Feel free to skip right on down there.

p.s. Sorry the spacing is so weird... copying from Microsoft Word is hard, and I finally gave up!

Audio version of this talk: Talk 3: Development of the Will

Talk 3: Development of the Will

-Instead of pacifier, Montessori recommends using a “teething ball”

·      Keys of Environment: Beauty, Order, and Simplicity

-Most important part of prepared environment is beauty

            *Montessori said, “The child is instinctively drawn to real beauty.”

-Artwork and objects in child’s home should be beautiful, should be from the masters. “Rich food, but not too much of it.” Good quality items, a few, well chosen.

·      Needs of Child in Prepared Environment

1.     A place of their own—their own bed, very close to parents.

a.     Marriage bed is sacred, but child can be near.

b.     Don’t build habit of child in your bed.

2.     Floor bed with mirror nearby, progression of mobiles, and a shelf with toys and books.

a.     See Michael Olaf website for ideas

b.     Montessori recommended “No more than 3 toys at a time on their shelf.” Rotate them out.

3.     Nursing chair for mother

a.     Moves out when baby is weaned

4.     Closet: a low bar for clothes and a place to put shoes.

5.     Changing table in the bathroom

a.     This teaches them that this is something done in the bathroom

b.     First try them on toilet at 6–7 months

c.      At 9–10 months, they will want to see what you’re doing: welcome them in.

6.     Small table and chair (also called weaning table and chair) in kitchen.

a.     Sturdy: will last through 9 or 10 kids.

b.     They can work there.

7.     Learning tower in kitchen so they can work at the counter

8.     Nesting things and dishes in cabinets that they can use

a.     At 15–18 months, they are really into nesting

9.     Outside time. Not enough can be said about this. It’s crucial.

10. Drink from a small glass (shot glass is great) starting at 5–6 months, with water

·      Attitudes

-“Cultivate a friendly feeling for error.”

*Stop bad behavior immediately. This is anything disruptive to the community: hitting, biting, unkind language.

*“We ought not to raise children with rewards, punishments, and praise for their work. Instead, build relationships.”

*But, don’t correct a child’s attempt at work. You could mess up their initiative and desire to help. (Story of a little toddler boy who saw his mother take the broom and sweep again where he had just swept—he was very hurt and wouldn’t touch the broom again for months.)

-To empower children, give them two good choices: “Do you want salt or butter on your broccoli?” or “Would you like me to take you off the table or would you like to get yourself down?” etc.

            *They need clear limits.

-The child is “a raging river trying to get back to God.” He needs two banks, two clear limits—the parents.

-Rewards are more damaging than punishments. They appeal to lowest part of child’s nature. It’s controlling and manipulative.

*Don’t say “good girl,” “good boy”: that’s not Catholic language. Our existence is good, not our actions. Say, “Thank you. I appreciate that.” But don’t praise them for doing what they should be doing. They can get addicted to praise, to the point that they can’t do a thing without adult approval.

-Words of affirmation are good when not tied to actions. Say things like, “You are a gift. We wanted you for so long. We had no idea the gift God had in store for us.” But this affirmation is because of who they are.

*You can rejoice in their big accomplishments, but not over every little thing. That would get exhausting!

-Let them work in peace: don’t break their focus with verbal praise.

-Grandparents and family are open to learning about Montessori if you present it kindly. Open with, “Guess what we learned…”

-Instead of thanking child for being nice to someone, point out the effect on that person: “That really made her happy,” “Did you see how he smiled when you said that?” etc.

-Don’t force child to say “sorry” or “thank you.”

*Contrition and gratitude are internal movements of the soul. You can teach these things and model them for your child, but don’t force it.

*They will learn from your spirit of gratitude and your expression of sorrow on making mistakes, and with time, they will own it.

-Make sure child has plenty of alone active time, time for exploration and movement.

            *Allow for sensorial experience first, then add words.

*Model an action (putting on socks, sweeping with dustpan, etc.) and then let them do it.

-Don’t come behind and correct his work. It destroys his love of work itself.

-Limitation of materials: too many “things” disrupts his concentration and makes it hard to keep order.

-At some point in the day, offer child the chance to put each room back in order. Do it with them, and break it down into one step at a time.

·      Catechesis of the Good Shepherd

-We don’t need to teach the child under 6 the Old Testament. They need Jesus, that He has called them by name, and that he wants them to live with Him.

-Focus on the Good Shepherd who has called them by name.

-We don’t use a children’s Bible; we don’t dumb down the Word of God. Use the best-quality translation you can find.

-When little one wants to receive Communion, tell them to ask Jesus to come into their heart.

-Catechesis of the Good Shepherd is more for the adult than the child. Just give them God’s word, and then tools for meditation and contemplation.

*Several Missionaries of Charity came to visit the Montessori school in Virginia, and after spending several hours in the Atrium with the toddlers, one of the sisters said, “I’ve just seen Heaven.”

-By age 3, a child can tell whether Mass is something we just fit into our schedule or the high point of our day.

-Mass is a celebration and is sacred. Teach about the Mass both before and after it takes place, but not during Mass. Children will participate in their own way.

Further reading: works of John Taylor Gatto

Further reading: Montessori from the Start and The Science behind the Genius

-A well-run Montessori school is more Catholic than traditional Catholic school.

Recommended Resources

Referenced Works:

The Child in the Church

Catechesi Tradendae

Evolution’s End

The Secret Life of the Unborn Child

Works of Dr. Michel Odent

What's Going on in There? and Pink Brain Blue Brain

Last Child in the Woods

Unconditional Parenting

Failure to Connect

Dumbing Us Down

Montessori from the Start

The Science behind the Genius

This article about the importance of crawling.

My friend Dean, who attended the conference with me, sent over this amazing list of recommended reading from the loveliest blog.

I've also enjoyed this little blog post series on homeschooling with the Montessori method. 

Whew! This has been quite the review. I hope you enjoyed it (or at least didn't mind it too much) and maybe even learned a thing or two. Thanks for following along!

Do you have any favorite Montessori blogs, books, or other resources to share?

All about Montessori: Part 2

Part 1 in this series.
Part 3 in this series (with recommended reading).  
For those who missed Part 1, this is a set of notes I took at a Montessori workshop in March.

My disclaimer: nothing expressed here is my own opinion. I didn't write this material, just copied it down, and I don't necessarily agree with all of it. Discussion is welcome, either over email or in the comments.

Here is the audio version for downloading: Talk 2: Prepared Environment

Talk 2: Absorbent Mind (age 0–6) and Prepared Environment

·      Absorbent Mind

-Language: the young child is capable of absorbing multiple languages between ages 0–6, with 2 being the peak age for language acquisition

-Movement: ages 0 to 5 ½

-Sensory perception: 2 ½ to 4

-Order: Crucial from 0 to 4 ½ or 5, with peak at age 2. Little ones need order. Observe their external behavior.

*It is distressing for a child to come home and find things moved around. It’s a mistake to send them away to Grandma’s during a move. The child must witness and be part of any move or change in their environment.

-Social graces: 4 ½ to 5

            *Age of “experimental language”: made-up stories

*Remember they are not lying: just ask them questions and listen

*This is also the age for fascination with potty language. This will pass. When bad language is used, take them to the bathroom and say, “You can say that word as much as you want in here, and you can come out and join the rest of us when you’re done, but the rest of us don’t want to hear that word.”

*Remain emotionally neutral during this phase.

Further reading: Last Child in the Woods and research on Nature-Deficit Disorder

·      Psychic Principles

-First principle: Work. Child is eager for this.

-Second principle: child’s capacity for concentration and attention.

*At moment of birth, child will focus on mother’s face for up to 50 minutes. Don’t cut the cord right away, and keep other people away.

-Key to successful parenting: Observe before intervening.

-Concentration leads to contemplation: Pope Benedict XVI spoke of “an orientation to attentiveness.” This concentration is beneficial for child’s spiritual life.

-Nursing is the template for all future intimate relationships.

            *Be attentive to the child as you nurse. It sends them an important message.

-Third principle: Independence—in order to be interdependent, to give fully of self.

            *When little child wants to help, encourage and allow that.

            *Have an “attitude of cooperation rather than control.”

*If child is not allowed to help at a young age, child will not want to help when they get older. Child could say at age 7, “For 6 years I’ve wanted to help, and you told me to go play. Now you want my help, but I’ve been taught that my job is just to play”—new plane of development.

*Follow the child as a toddler, and train them by age 3 to enter into your work and understand the rules of the house. They just want to be beside you.

-Until age 5, they can’t sit through Mass.

-Fourth principle: Development of the will.

-It is ideal to naturally space children at 3 years apart.

-Children need their own space, even just a corner; otherwise they become possessive (a down side of having kids close in age).

-Until age 7/8, kids do not understand misbehaving; they do not separate their actions from themselves.

*If you’re going to spank, don’t start until age 8, when they actually understand behaving badly and getting punished.

-Dominican tradition: “We are moral beings, not moral doings. Morality is a response to love.”
            *James Dobson says, “Rules without relationships lead to rebellion.”

            *Reflect back to the child their own goodness and worth.

*The parent can make a million mistakes, as long as the child knows they are loved.

-“To Train up a Child is a terrible book. Burn it. It’s not ‘Christian’ or Catholic—it’s Calvinist.”

-Montessori encouraged parents to reframe their thinking. The question is not, “How do I get my child to do ___?” but “What does my child need to become who God meant them to be?”

Further reading: Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

-At the heart of the “prepared environment” in a Montessori home is the adult, and the adult must spiritually prepare to welcome this new life.

*The two greatest obstacles are pride and anger; we must work daily to uproot them and replace them with humility and charity. The child requires you to slow down. When baby is born, plans go out the window.

-Montessori said, “Wonder is essential to the development of the spiritual life. What kills the sense of wonder is hurry, overstimulation, and introducing fantasy before age 7.”

            *Fantasy before age 7 gives distaste for reality.

-The screen is detrimental to forming the child’s brain. American Pediatric Association recommended No TV before age 6, but there was so much public outcry that they changed their official statement. TV and screen time hurts the developmental brain.

*Interestingly, especially in Silicon Valley, parents who work in tech don’t let their kids have screen time at a young age.

Further reading: Failure to Connect by Jane M. Healy

-Withholding fantasy until age 7 can be a problem around Christmas when it comes to Santa. Describe Santa as the “spirit of Christmas” and emphasize St. Nicholas.

            *Kids shouldn’t be “myth-buster” to their friends, but it’s best to be honest.

-Children have superior powers of concentration and ability if they are not introduced to fantasy.

-“For Catholic parents, the question is not what to teach. The ‘what’ is the Deposit of the Faith. The question is when and how.”

-Even for travel (planes, car trips) focus on reality.

-Travel with kids: maps, music, narrate what’s going on, books (sea creatures, trees, nature).

            *Kids under 6 should read about nature.

-The name “Montessori” was never trademarked so you have to be careful. AMI, Association Montessori Internationale, is most legit Montessori organization. Also AMI-USA and NAMTA. Stick to these.

-Don’t anthropomorphize stuffed animals.

Montessori Workshop: Part 1

I have good news. :) Remember a million years ago (back before I moved to Chicago and got married—so basically a lifetime ago—in March) when my friend Ruth planned the most amazing all-day Montessori workshop? You probably don't remember, because between moving and getting married, I dropped the ball on typing up my notes to share here. Then I misplaced my notebook during the move, so I thought the Montessori notes were gone for good.

But then, this week I found the notebook in a pile of Frank's bar-exam stuff. (Up next: the bar exam is taking over my life. It's literally eating my stuff.) So I typed up the notes, and this week I'll be sharing them in 3 parts. (If Montessori doesn't interest you at all—sorry! Just wait out this week; it'll be over soon.)

A few things to note:

These are the exact notes I took during the lectures, so they were scribbled down quickly and may be rough and hard to understand. Let me know if you need me to clarify anything. Also, there are a lot of books and resources referenced—don't worry about keeping track of them. I'm compiling them into a list and I'll publish the "Further reading" and recommended resources at the end of the series.

Here is the audio version of this first talk: Talk 1: Four planes of development

Finally, remember that nothing expressed here is my own opinion. I didn't write any of this material, just copied it down, and I don't necessarily agree with everything. Discussion is welcome, either over email or in the comments.

Here are links to Part 2 and Part 3. Part 3 contains the recommended reading.

And now for the first talk!

Talk 1: Four Planes of Human Development

-The purpose of human life is to know, to love, and to serve God. The purpose of an educator is to know, to love, and to serve the child in her care—seeing God through the child.

-St. Thomas Aquinas said we can only truly love what we know.

Further reading: The Child in the Church

·      What our church teaches us about man (Catechism)

-The human person is unique, image of God, composed of both spirit and matter.

-Man is a developmental being and is incomplete.

-Mankind’s spiritual faculties (intellect and will) can only be formed by the person himself, and he forms himself through meaningful interaction with the world.

-The intellect naturally seeks truth and is only satisfied with truth. Similarly the will naturally seeks good and is only satisfied with good.

-Despite original sin, we naturally seek good. The child is good; we don’t have to make him good.

-Grace builds on nature, perfecting but not altering it.

·      Montessori Principles

Dr. Maria Montessori, via

 -Using the teachings of Thomas Aquinas, Maria Montessori built a timeline of human psychological development and learned what adults can best do to help children.

            *All her work has been proven by recent technology.

-Two poles of humanity: child forms adult as much as adult forms child. “Apostolate of the child.”
*When either pole frustrates the other, we have disharmony in the family. (Poles are adult and child—not successive stages but different sides.)

·    Four Planes of Human Development:

The first three planes of development, via

-Age 0–6 is most important plane. Each plane has its own goal. This plane’s goal is “self-construction.”

-Montessori said, “Give me the child at six and I’ll show you the man.” She paraphrased St. Thomas Aquinas, who said, “Give me a child for his first six years and I’ll give you a saint.”

-First three years are the most important: 90% of brain development happens in first 3 years, and the remaining 10% by age 8.      

-0–3 years: unconscious absorbent mind

-3–6 years: conscious absorbent mind

-Ages 6/7 onward: reasoning/imaginative mind (adult mind)

-We are failing children in the first 3 years of life because we are not putting them in rich enough environments: they love the world from birth, and they sleep so much because they are processing all they absorb.

            *Montessori said, “Education is an aid to life.”

-“If I could tell parents one thing: at the age of reason, they have a new child.” This psychological fact is manifested physically in the children losing their baby teeth, losing baby fat, etc.

-Ages 6–12: the goal is the development of the social self.

            *Justice is their theme and their anthem is “that’s not fair.”

            *This is the time for saints and hero-worship; before 6, they just need Jesus.

Further reading: “Catechesi Tradendae” encyclical

-Age 12 is the child’s birth into being a teenager, which is “only slightly less traumatic than the original birth.” We fail children by not having rites of passage at this time.
*At this age they become very introspective.
*“If you have a one-year-old and a thirteen-year-old, you basically have the same child.”

-By age 13, children need approval from the adult community and no longer depend on their parents.
            *Meditate on Christ at 12 in the temple: the Bible says of Mary and Joseph, “They             understood not a word he said to them.”
            *This is a good age for a “shadow job” or internship.
            *Sitting at a desk is hard for this age. It is the lowest point of academic work in life. By 16–18, they are ready for strong academics again.
            *Family Life and Vocation is their theme. They must be in touch with 0–3-year-olds.
            *No “buddies”: ages 13–15 needs strong adult figure(s).

-Ages 6–12 and 18–24 are periods of steady growth.

-18–24: We need mentors and guides to adulthood. Goal of this phase: Vocation.

-It’s not that something is wrong with the child; it’s that something is wrong with our educational system.
*Our education system is a “factory method” out of Protestant Germany and is bad for teaching the faith.

Further reading: Evolution’s End by Joseph Chilton Pearce

-Don’t treat young adolescent as you treat 9–10-year-old

-Ages 12–13 is also a rebirth for the parents

-13 is a good age to be a mother’s helper: the child’s best comes out around other adults (can include extended family, or they can go away for the summer)

-Baptism and Confirmation: two moments of birth, Sacraments of indwelling of the Holy Spirit. You see here the wisdom of the Church.

·      The Brain

-Synapses connect neurons via dendrites

-We want lots of synapses: this growth happens through relationships. Baby must be face to face with mom at birth!

Further reading: The Secret Life of the Unborn Child

-At moment of birth, baby must be face to face with mom.

-Synapses grow by repetition of relationships (mom, over and over).

-Chilton Pearce studied inmates on death row for 30 years: every single one was separated from mom in first year of life (see Unabomber’s story).

*Adopted children are more likely to suffer from learning disabilities for the same reason.

-First 9 months after birth: crucial bonding with mother—“second pregnancy.” In-utero development matches this development psychologically.

-8 weeks old: development of first psychological leg: Trust in the world.

*It’s about action and attitude, not words.

*Mother and child should never be separated during this time: 8 weeks of quiet, peace, and learning each other, while Dad takes off work and acts as barrier to the outside world. Baby needs to be in mother’s arms.

“Every time a new baby is born and enters the family, the family is born again.”

-8 weeks to age 2: development of second psychological leg: Trust in self.

            *Man is by nature a worker: Montessori called man “homo laborem.”

            *Child has “vital instinct for work” and “work builds his life.”
            *Montessori said work is “any activity that benefits man.”
            *Work, for the child, is self-development: hand-eye coordination, the goal is internal. For adults, the goal of work is external: building the world.

-Pregnant women should listen to choirs of male and female voices: good for child. (See work of Dr. Michel Odent.)

-Reading an infant poetry stimulates a different part of the brain than having a conversation with him.

            *Language is crucial to development.
            *Use proper names for the sake of baby’s dignity; no “binky,” etc. Crucial for baby to learn proper terms.

-The amount a child moves in first 3 years of life is directly connected to IQ and brain development. Use no apparatus. Carry baby in arms and do tummy time (after 8 weeks).

            *Do not use exersaucer or any device they can’t get into by themselves.

            *Consider, how are brain scientists raising their kids? (See resources list at end of series.)

via

 -Tummy time strengthens myelin sheathing and helps brain develop. They become uncoordinated without it. Let them cry out as they lift self: they can do it. Don’t go pick them up at that moment.

-The hand perceives texture, temperature, and weight. Babies must be introduced to many different textures (tile floor vs. wood floor, different blankets, etc.)

-When baby is able to sit up well, they begin eating, trying juices. First weaning meal should take place at nine months old. This is the end of the ex-utero pregnancy.

-They need to learn object permanence: respect them if they don’t want to go to another adult; they need to know mom will be there.

Further reading: Lise Eliot, neurobiologist in Chicago. Read What's Going on in There? and other works