Serena's wedding: Part 2

The morning of the wedding, I arrived at Serena's parents house bright and early. I did the usual things—painted my nails, helped curl people's hair, brought my handy travel steamer for use on the wedding dress and veil. Serena's adorable 12-year-old cousin told me it was her first time getting her hair curled, and asked me the cutest questions throughout—"Are you a hairdresser? Am I related to you?" It was darling. Everything was a busy flurry of activity and just as I was beginning to think we would never be ready, everything finally came together and we were off to the church!

And Serena! There has never been a sweeter bride. With her beautiful dark hair, blue eyes and pink cheeks, she could have been the model for Snow White. And she was absolutely radiant.

Frank sat right behind me with our good friend Molly, who did a reading during the ceremony. Frank and I couldn't help looking at each other and grinning from time to time. It's so much fun to be at a wedding together and remember our own!

And this couple—they couldn't be more wonderful if they tried. They were simply beaming love and happiness all through the wedding Mass.

When they finally kissed, after saying their vows and exchanging rings, the whole church erupted into spontaneous cheers. That's how excited we all were to see those two get married!

Serena and Anthony have possibly the most romantic love story I've ever heard. I don't want to go into too many details, since it's not my story to tell, but let's just say that Anthony knew she was the one the first moment he laid eyes on her before their freshman year of college at the University of Dallas. Serena, on the other hand, was somehow totally unaware, thinking they just happened to be best friends who had a lot of fun together and got along really well. Anthony patiently bided his time, until after three years he finally asked her out. She hesitantly agreed to one date, but of course she ended up falling in love with him right back, and the rest is history. Their patiently built love story is so beautifully evident in the way they know each other so well and cherish each other so deeply.

Can't you just see the joy on their faces? And that dress—it's just perfect for her! Everyone exclaimed over how beautiful she looked.

We took a bunch of pictures at the church... Here's what the bridesmaids wore if you'd like to see. Serena chose the prettiest, most elegant dresses you can imagine. We all loved them!

Finally it was time to head over to the reception. Here is the lovely couple just before they were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. for the first time!

The reception was elegant and beautiful, filled with all kinds of thoughtful little details that are so Serena. At the head table, there was a little vase of water for each bridesmaid's bouquet:

For favors, Serena made rose-scented candles ... out of tea cups! (Remember when she was collecting all those tea cups a while ago?) I couldn't believe she actually made all of them herself. They even came with coordinating books of matches.

And the wedding cakes fit beautifully with the theme. One was gluten-free, since Serena and some of her family are allergic to gluten. The tea cup on the gluten-free cake was from Serena's first tea set as a little girl.

The toasts were all fantastic. Serena's dad started by asking everyone to clink their glasses so Serena and Anthony had to kiss. Then he said, "I never thought I'd be asking people to help me get someone to kiss my daughter..." That got a lot of laughs! But then he said that Anthony is the one man he would want to kiss his daughter, because he's such a good man who loves Serena so much. It was incredibly sweet.

Serena's dance with her father was spectacular. It started with a sweet, slow song, and then after a minute it picked up into something fast, jazzy and fun (I wish I could remember what the songs were—Molly or Rachel, maybe you can help me?). Serena and her dad can dance! As Frank said, "I saw a whole new side to Serena!" It was a delight to watch and got us all smiling.

The best man was Anthony's brother and he had some darling stories about Anthony as a kid. We found out Anthony took a briefcase to kindergarten—isn't that the cutest mental image? There was also a story about Anthony's love for pens as a little kid. He was always sensible and mature beyond his years, and very sure of what he wanted. How fitting for his sweet love story with Serena.

Then Rachel gave her maid-of-honor speech. I told her she was born to give that speech—it was one of the best wedding toasts I've ever heard. That girl has the sharpest wit and so clearly loves Anthony and Serena so much. She started with, "Now I know that opposites attract ... because Anthony is actually able to get places on time." That brought down the house, and it only got better from there. The speech focused on the virtues Serena and Anthony share that will help strengthen their marriage, and she demonstrated with hilarious and touching anecdotes about each. By the end of the speech, I was crying with laughter—and then it was time for the mother-son dance.

Anthony and his mom danced to a song I'd never heard before—"A song for my son" by Mikki Viereck. Have you ever heard it? It's really beautiful ... and it might make you cry. As I listened to the words of the song—"Be kind, be sweet, be a gentleman"—I thought about how Anthony's mom had taught him those values every day of his life. It's so evident in the man he has become. I thought about the little boy he used to be, who carried a briefcase to kindergarten, and how he loved Serena for so long. I began to tear up a little bit. Then it was time for his and Serena's first dance.

Rachel and Maura, another bridesmaid, sang and played guitar for Serena's and Anthony's first dance. They chose the beautiful song Tailor Made by Colbie Caillat (listen to it on Youtube if you can—it's gorgeous). I'd never heard it before, but the lyrics described their love story so perfectly. And as I watched them dance, lost in the moment and staring into each other's eyes, I just lost it.

I started bawling into my napkin. One of the other bridesmaids, Blanche, grabbed my hand and we cried into our napkins together. Then we smiled through the tears and started laughing, because we were so darn happy. Serena and Anthony were made for each other.

Dang it, guys. I'm getting emotional just writing this post. If I keep going I'm going to start crying again, and we can't have that.

All I can say is, it was a privilege to be in this wedding. I feel like a better person for having witnessed it. Anthony and Serena give such a beautiful example of what marriage can be, just by being who they are. I sure love those two.

Serena's wedding: Part 1

Normally I don't cry at weddings. I didn't cry at my sister Lillian's, or my best friend Maggie's, or even at my own. But I cried at Serena's—the first wedding that ever moved me to tears. Let me walk you through this unforgettable weekend and tomorrow's post about the day that made just about everyone present tear up with joy.

Serena grew up in the remote North Country town of Malone, NY—best known as the setting for Laura Ingalls Wilder's Farmer Boy—and that's where she decided to have her wedding. After weighing all our travel options, Frank and I decided to drive to the wedding. Alllll the way to Malone, NY. It was the only way we could both go, really, and luckily we love road trips.

Our car, ready to go with blankets, pillows and a picnic basket of snacks

We took Friday and Monday off from work and divided the 13-hour drive into two days, with overnight stops both there and back to make it manageable. At the reception, a few people asked, "Are you that couple that drove from Chicago?!" We felt proud to have acquired such a reputation. :)

We decided to make a full vacation out of it and visit the Wilder Farm on Sunday before we left. I read Farmer Boy aloud to Frank on our way there in preparation. By the way, that book is a great read-aloud. We've tried reading books out loud in the past and it didn't go well, mostly because we're both visual learners who struggle to retain auditory information. But the Little House books are so visually descriptive—everything is described in detail, from Father's barnyard to Almanzo's red mittens—that our visual brains easily stayed engaged. We also had a great time discussing the story, but I'll tell you more about that in my post about the Wilder farm.

Anyway, the rehearsal was supposed to start at 5:00 pm. We hoped to arrive in town before 4:00, but traffic on the two-lane highway to Malone slowed us down. It was 4:45 pm when we finally rolled into the hotel parking lot.

We had the pleasure of witnessing this fine vehicle on the way there. I'm just impressed they actually wrote "Ford" on there.

To make matters worse, I was dressed in the oh-so-fashionable attire of yoga pants and Frank's over-sized hoodie (it was comfortable but darn ugly ... Frank said, "I think your style theme for this trip is homeless"). I quickly laid out a plan—"Ok, you check in, I'll run upstairs, we'll change really fast, I'll do my make-up in the car"—and I couldn't help but add, "Everything will be fine as long as we don't run into Serena's or Anthony's parents before I get a chance to change!" Of course, as soon as we stepped into the hotel, Anthony's entire family stepped off the elevator right in front of us. I sank into the wall and hoped they didn't recognize me, but Anthony's dad (sweetest man on the planet) saw me and happily greeted me, "Hi Tess!" I turned ten shades of red, but of course smiled and said hi back. Luckily his mom didn't see me, and I was able to redeem myself by being very presentable at the rehearsal dinner.

We showed up at the church at 5:15, with me panicking because we were late, but to my immense relief Serena and the other bridesmaids hadn't arrived yet. I shouldn't have worried. Serena and I met when we were serendipitously placed as roommates at the ISI Honors Conference, and we bonded over the fact that we were the last to arrive at breakfast every single morning—generally skating in with just enough time to grab coffee before class. Running late is kind of our thing (for better or worse).

The rehearsal went off perfectly and the rehearsal dinner was a delight, with a heartfelt and loving toast from Anthony's dad. Frank and I made new friends and discovered that we knew a lot of people in common with the rest of the bridal party. Serena gave us bridesmaids beautiful rose earrings and necklaces (in keeping with the wedding's pink rose theme), and fussed over whether Frank and I were well-rested because she is the most thoughtful bride in the world. I really enjoyed spending time with her lovely friends who made up the rest of the bridal party and her older sister Mary Jo, who is now teaching my little sister's high school English class. I gushingly told Mary Jo how much my sister loves her class, but Frank the ever-helpful cocked an eye at her and said, "So, you're Caroline's new English teacher. I heard you gave a really hard quiz last week." I pretty much died of shame, but afterward when we told Caroline about it she was immensely pleased with Frank. I can't understand it!

Ok, I won't say any more for now—this post is already long enough. But tomorrow I'll be posting all about the wedding, with tons of pictures, so check back then. :)

p.s. Today is my birthday! I once heard that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who hide their birthdays, and those who proclaim them. I'm definitely a birthday proclaimer! The morning got off to a great start with delicious breakfast in bed from Frank—more like breakfast feast—and lots of presents, including a potted rose plant for our kitchen and our family's traditional birthday cupcake. I'm the happiest girl today!

Serena's Bridal Shower!

Serena's shower in St. Louis was perfect and beautiful. Her fiance's cousin—who just happens to be an event planner—put it together, and she did the most marvelous job. My favorite part of all, though, was getting the chance to meet Serena's friends and new family.

Friday evening I slept over with Serena—and of course our conversation included all our usual sleepover topics like Anna Karenina, Kristin Lavransdatter, and everything else we've been reading lately. Saturday morning began with a late breakfast at her fiance's family's house; her wonderful fiance Anthony and his sweet dad cooked an impressive feast.

 

^^I couldn't get enough of the apple-topped fence posts at Anthony's parents' house—a perfect touch since his mom is a teacher.

Serena is collecting teacups to use for the wedding reception (I can't give any more details than that as I don't want to give anything away for my friends who are going to the wedding!). She told me how Anthony's extended family has been so helpful, finding teacups from all over and bringing them home for her.

^^All the teacups were spread out on Anthony's mom's dining room table. They have over 100 already!

^^Pretty impressive! And on another note, isn't her outfit darling?

We sat around and talked for a while after breakfast. Anthony's dad is studying for the diaconate, and he had such great insights to share. I also enjoyed a good conversation with Serena's Maid of Honor, the lovely Rachel, who is absolutely a kindred spirit—but more about her later. :)

Finally we piled in Rachel's car to drive to Anthony's aunt's house for the shower. I walked in and pretty much began taking notes for Lillian's bridal shower, which I'm planning for next month. Everything looked beautiful!

 

^^Serena with her Maid of Honor and me, the "bridesmatron." :)

A huge highlight of the trip was getting to meet Rachel. You know those moments when you meet your friend's friends and realize you have a ton in common and were pretty much meant to be friends? It was one of those moments. Rachel teaches high school English, and her insights about various books (and just life in general) were fantastic. I could have listened to her talk about literature forever. (And lucky for me, she has a blog where she writes about all things literary—I fully intend to stalk on a regular basis!) I think this is one of the best parts about getting to be in Serena's wedding—the chance to connect and bond with her friends from high school and college. I love it!

And last but not least, Anthony's aunt has a fantastic teapot collection. I admired it all through the bridal shower, and finally decided I just had to take a picture for you guys:

My favorite is the one on the bottom left—if you look closely, you'll see that the lid is a little tea table. 

And now, it's Friday. Frank and I have big plans for this weekend—just kidding, our plans mostly involve sleeping in and probably visiting a new parish for Mass on Sunday. We've heard so much about St. John Cantius that we decided this week we have to go. Does anyone else go to Mass there? Any tips? Last but not least, I'm hoping to try my hand at making homemade bread this weekend using a recipe book that sweet Sukie sent me for a wedding gift. Wish me luck!

Heading to St. Louis!

This picture was taken in July of 2010—incidentally, a solid year before I even knew Frank existed. I was a rising senior in college. That's me on the left there, and Lillian on the right. And the girl right next to me, the one with the chic dark pixie cut, that's Serena.

This picture was taken at an ISI conference in Annapolis. You know how I mentioned ISI and the awesome connections it's brought Lillian and me (namely, our husbands)? Well as it turns out, my husband wasn't the only awesome connection I made through ISI.

When I did the Honors Fellowship three years ago, luck and serendipity gave me Serena as my roommate. Serena was a rising senior at UDallas. We shared a love for the great books and a passion for late-night intellectual conversations, but more importantly, we shared an inability to wake up on time (possibly related to the love for late-night conversations).

Every morning, without fail, the two of us would dash down to breakfast 5 minutes before our first lecture of the day, and spend the lecture gulping coffee while trying to stay awake. After a few days of this—the evening conversations and the morning struggle-fests—we realized we were meant to be friends. I mean, books and conversations and sleeping in; could there be a better foundation for a friendship?

When the conference was over we went back to our respective schools in Texas and Indiana. We tried to stay in touch, but as the school year passed it grew harder, and we were just about to let our friendship slip into that sad-but-sometimes-unavoidable realm of "friends you only talk to on Facebook" when graduation rolled around. I was getting ready to move to DC and start my first job when I found out Serena would be starting grad school and moving to DC too! Cause for celebration! We were joyously reunited and embarked on a regular regimen of sleepovers, movie nights, mani-pedi dates and pretty much any other fun thing we could think of.

Like hanging out at the National Basilica

Anyway, the point of this whole story is this: Serena is getting married to wonderful Anthony in September, and she's asked me to be her bridesmaid. I was thrilled. I mean, getting asked to be a bridesmaid (or in my case, a bridesmatron) has to be just about the greatest honor a friend can bestow, you know? And just to give you an idea of how awesome of a bride Serena is... her bridesmaid dresses are going to be from Shabby Apple, my favorite dress source ever. I'm already itching to get mine in the mail so I can start wearing it to Sunday Mass!

Today Serena's having a bridal shower in St. Louis, where her fiance's family is from. How lucky am I that her shower is out in the Midwest, where I can actually attend it? In fact, I wrote this blog post on a Megabus to St. Louis for the shower. (And given the shaky state of wifi on this bus, I'm really proud of myself for finishing it and even putting pictures—small triumphs :)

When I moved to Chicago to get married, I thought our days of sleepovers and late-night conversations were at an end. But nope, here we are—our sleepovers have just moved, from Annapolis to DC to St. Louis. Somehow we always find ourselves back here: talking about books late at night, solving the problems of the world ... followed by a struggle to get up the next morning. At this point it's tradition.

Here's to a perfect Saturday bridal shower for my dear Serena. I'm so glad I get to go, and Frank and I already looking forward to the wedding!

We're back, and we're married!

The wedding was absolutely perfect—every single part. It was even better than I imagined.

A few photos from May 25...

^^Mum doing up my dress at my parents' house...

^^The bridesmaids: my four sisters and Frank's sister. She fits in so perfectly, doesn't she? As she said, "I could pass for one of your sisters!" And now she is. :)

^^The most amazing moment of my entire life: exchanging our wedding vows.

^^We were both so happy and excited! Everyone told me the wedding day would be a blur, but it wasn't; I remember every moment.

 ^^Leaving the church after Mass. My dad says this is his favorite picture.

 ^^I love this picture with our parents.

^^My whole family.

 ^^My darling little trio of flower girls.

^^They took their train-holding duties very seriously. I felt like Kate Middleton all day!

^^This might just be my very favorite photo.

Last but not least, Lillian works for the educational institute ISI, which we joke is really just a front for a conservative matchmaking service (she and I both met our husbands through it). So I pretty much died laughing when she created this hilarious meme:

So there's that, in case you need another reason to sign up for one of their awesome fellowships. ;)

Now that we're back from Rome, I'm keeping busy unpacking and settling in to our Little House while working full-time, so free time is in a bit of short supply. But I can't wait to share more details about the wedding, and I have some awesome photos from our honeymoon I want to share too!

I'll be featuring one more great guest post this week, and then back to just me around here. Hope you've been enjoying them, and thanks for reading!

Some moments not to be forgotten

On Wednesday morning, Frank and I went to the county clerk's office to obtain our marriage license.

Oh my goodness, writing that sentence right there made my heart beat faster. It really did!

Getting a marriage license only costs $35. Who knew getting married was so cheap? ;)

The nice clerk-lady took down our biographical information, for "genealogical records." I thought about people doing family history work, and I imagined our great-great-grandchildren looking us up someday. They would find out that Frank is an attorney and I'm an editor, that I'm Hispanic, and that we were both 23 at the time of our marriage. I wonder what they'll think about all that.

We came out and Frank started singing his favorite song since we got engaged... "I'm gettin' married in the mornin'" from My Fair Lady. That made us both laugh.

Wednesday evening, my mom and I spent almost two hours at Kinko's making photocopies of pictures of Frank and me growing up.

We were planning to create these for the wedding centerpieces:

via

Three of Frank's friends are in town. They got in Sunday night and they're staying at our apartment with Frank until the wedding. I shudder to think what the state of the apartment is going to be. (Just kidding, I trust them. Besides Frank will keep an eye on things.)

Last night they all came over to my parents' for dinner. They played with Angela and Joseph, laughed at my dad's jokes, and generally made a fabulous impression on my family. Tonight they are driving to Milwaukee with Frank for a Brewers' game, and tomorrow they're all going to a White Sox game for Frank's bachelor party.

That man sure loves baseball, and his friends planned accordingly.

Mum bought red cardstock this week, and last night, after the guys left, she and I stayed up past midnight making the centerpiece numbers. They look awesome, if I do say so myself. Frank was just about the cutest baby of all time and I love looking at those pictures of him.

What to know something ridiculous? I started this blog post 6 days ago. Life has been so insane lately that it took me until right now to finish it.

Four days until the wedding!

Conversations with my Wedding Planner

My mom recently hired a wedding coordinator, Jen, to help her out the weekends of my and Lillian's weddings. With two weddings to plan, the brides living across the country, and three kids at home, it was all getting to be a lot for poor Mum, and after meeting with the coordinator she was so relieved that she called me practically jumping for joy.

Even better, Jen is a family friend, a truly lovely girl who has tons of experience planning weddings (including her own this past December). It turns out that she had just decided to quit her unfulfilling day job and go into wedding planning full-time when she got the call from my mom. She was overjoyed to have two weddings lined up so quickly and she posted a really sweet Facebook status about it and how God answers prayer. We're all thrilled to have Jen on board and we can't wait to have her help.

Jen and I have been emailing back and forth and she pointed out that she's heard a lot about the logistics from my mom, but she hasn't heard what my vision for the wedding is. She asked, what do I want it to be like?

I thought you all might enjoy my response:

When I first got engaged I read an article that advised brides to come up with a short "elevator speech" that explains what they want the wedding to be like. Here is what I came up with right after I got engaged: "Classic, traditional, simple, intimate, red and white, frugal" ... my ideal is for the guests to feel like they've gone back in time and they're witnessing their grandparents' wedding in the 1940s, with a few fun modern twists. 

So that's what I'm dreaming of for my wedding day. It's less than two months away now. I can't wait!

Good Articles about Marriage

Dear Readers,

Sorry to be on such a marriage-preparation kick lately. All I can say is, how much I've been writing about marriage doesn't nearly reflect how much I've been thinking about marriage. I can't believe it's less than four months til the big day!

There are so many amazing, fantastic articles about marriage I've read lately, and I wanted to compile a few of them to remember for later. Here are some good ones.

source

My favorite person on the internet, Elizabeth Foss, wrote this gorgeous reflection on the later years of marriage, which led me to a piece on her enduring love for her husband. The second one might make you cry.

3 things I wish I knew before we got married. Great to get the guy's perspective.

How to be a pro-life family. Pretty much anything Simcha writes is pure gold, and Frank and I are using this piece as inspiration for our family life.

One of the best blogs about marriage is Moxie Wife (formerly Betty Beguiles). This blog is a treasure trove, and I especially loved reading What My Husband Desires Most. Refined by Fire is comforting and hopeful, and the comments on Advice for the Newly Engaged are great.

Stumbled on this by chance, but I love it: Just how serious is your marriage, anyway? Includes the amazing line, "Marriage is a campfire, not a gas grill."

This one's from a more secular source, but has some real gems: 15 ways to stay married for 15 years.

Here's a light and pretty post with resources for newly engaged women from the always-delightful Verily.

Have you heard of the Good Women Project? Some of their articles are reeeeally sketchy, but they have some interesting pieces and I liked this one: I really thought the honeymoon phase would last longer than 2 weeks. At the bottom of it, you can find links to some other interesting pieces on marriage. Again, be careful: some of the stuff on there isn't ok for younger audiences.

And of course, no round-up on marriage would be complete without the wisdom and advice of the lovely Shawni. I adored her recent post on the blessings of family and motherhood as well as this great post on learning the language of marriage and this one on putting husbands first. Really good stuff.

Reader Colleen recommends this great series on marriage from Catholic Cookie Jar.


Do you have any other articles to recommend? Please leave them in the comments!

First Steps and Advice for Engaged Catholic Couples

My friend Anna got engaged last week. The next day she texted me, "What do I do, now??" I remember that feeling. The realization that you have a whole wedding to plan can be a little scary and overwhelming!

I texted her back with everything I've learned about wedding planning in my six months of being engaged, and after I sent it to her, I decided to write it up for the blog. Who knows, maybe it can help a few other couples!

First Steps After Getting Engaged:

1. Give yourself a week or two to let it sink in before you start planning. Just enjoy being engaged and give yourself a space of time to get used to it (and to stop staring at your ring every 30 seconds... six months later, I'm finally down to every two minutes) before you start the stressful process of planning.

2. When it's time to plan, I have three words for you: Real Simple checklist. A married friend recommended it to me and she was right; it's the absolute best. It's sensible, it's practical, and it doesn't offer a "one-size-fits-all" approach. You can even save your progress as you go (I've been doing that, and even though I'm consistently a month behind schedule, gradually everything's getting done!)

Bonus: Real Simple also has handy checklists for other aspects of wedding planning—my favorite is this list of questions to ask before hiring a photographer. Frank and I printed it and took it with us when we booked our photographer.

3. As for the nitty-gritty, you'll want to reserve the church and reception site first. That covers the planning basics, and once those are reserved, you can step back and take a little break. Along with reserving the church, pick a great priest for marriage prep. Marriage prep with a good priest is an incredible experience. Our pastor has an amazing understanding of human nature and of a married couple's dynamics, and with his help, Frank and I are learning to understand each other better and see eye-to-eye more and more.

4. There will inevitably be moments when you freak out. Last week Serena reminded me of the near-meltdown I had days after getting engaged when I was overcome with the stressful thought of planning a wedding. When those moments come, remember (as Auntie Leila says) that it's just Mass and then a party. Mass and a party, you can handle that! (At least that's what I tell myself when I feel inclined to stress out. :) )

5. Along with booking your church and reception site, if you are sending paper invitations, start collecting addresses right away. Getting everyone's addresses together was the most time-consuming part of planning. My mom and Frank's mom had long lists of relatives they wanted to invite, but it took dozens of phone calls and emails to track all their addresses down. You can't start too early!

6. This really should be number one: make sure you are spending time in prayer and spiritual reading specific to the marriage vocation. Marriage is a vocation like no other, and it's all too common nowadays for couples to spend more time planning their wedding than preparing for their marriage. I think the couples who reads this blog know better, but it still helps to have suggestions. Here are some of the best readings I know to prepare yourself spiritually and psychologically:

The Catechism on Matrimony. Our pastor had us read it for marriage prep so we would understand the Church's position on marriage in its fullness. This reading is short but spectacular. I want to reread it every year and frame parts of it to put up in our home.

Three To Get Married. The joke among my set at Notre Dame was that you could tell someone had just gotten engaged when she started reading this book and carrying it around everywhere. It's a lengthy and dense book, but there's a reason it's a spiritual classic. I learned so much from this book and underlined huge chunks in almost every chapter. Another one to reread again and again.

The Four Loves. C.S. Lewis' classic on marriage, Frank and I read it for marriage prep and pulled out parts to discuss with each other and the priest. Lewis packed so much into this short little book and we learned a lot from it.

By Love Refined: Letters to a Young Bride. Alice von Hildebrand's sweet, moving, and exquisite reflection on married love, with special emphasis on the early years. This book is rich in wisdom and is helpful for wives at any stage of marriage—my mom still likes to read it after 25 years. (Thanks to Holly for the suggestion!)

A Catholic Handbook for Engaged and Newly Married Couples. This book is like a little theology course on marriage packed into one short and very accessible volume. It's a treasure trove of sensible advice and inspiring ideas.

Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love. Dr. Edward Sri breaks down John Paul II's Theology of the Body in a practical, accessible format. I have yet to read all of it, but many of my friends swear by it as a way to understand the opposite sex and the marriage vocation! (Thanks for recommending it, Stephanie!)

Marriage and the Mystery of Faithful Life. Dietrich von Hildebrand offers a great—and short!—exploration of keeping the love alive in your marriage. (Thank you, Katrina, for the suggestion!)

Catholic brides will especially enjoy the lovely website Captive the Heart, a great resource that Stephanie has put together. She has book reviews of most of the books mentioned here!

Married and engaged friends: any other suggestions for good marriage reading?

7. Finally, another stellar tip from a married friend. Whenever you start to worry about things going wrong, ask Our Lady of the Wedding Feast at Cana to watch over your wedding and make sure everything runs smoothly. From what I hear, she has quite the track record of noticing if there's a problem at the wedding and getting Jesus to resolve it... before the bride and groom ever notice a thing. Could there be a better patroness? :)

Well, that's everything I've learned in my first six months of being engaged. Maybe after the wedding is over, I'll come back with "Advice for Engaged Couples: Part 2."

Please add advice and tips in the comments section!

a day of wedding planning

After I got engaged, it took a while to sink in that I'm actually getting married. The wedding will be in Chicago, after all, while I live in Virginia. So while my mom has been talking to vendors and dragging my complaining little siblings around to various reception sites, I go weeks at a time without the wedding even coming up in conversation. I love that wedding talk isn't taking over my life, but at times, because of the distance, it almost doesn't feel real.

So Friday was my very first marathon day of wedding planning (I'm sure there will be many more of them since I'm planning long-distance). Mum and I spent at least half the day in the car.

We woke up bright and early for 7:00 am Mass at my church, St. Isaac Jogues... on the feast of St. Isaac! It was so cool to be there on his feast day. Our pastor spoke beautifully about how we can follow this great saint's example.

And I didn't mind getting up so early because the morning sky was beautiful.

At 8:30 am we dropped Angela and Joseph off at school.

Then Mum and I went to our 5 meetings for the day (Frank was with us for the first three):

1. Meet with the priest at the church where we want to get married.

2. Check out Reception Site #1

3. Take Frank to his job interview

4. Meet with the seamstress for my first wedding dress session (!!)

5. Visit Reception Site #2

3:00 pm pick up the kids from school... and go home to help Caroline get ready for her high school's Halloween dance!!

How cute is she all dressed up for the dance? Skippy makes a perfect Toto. Her friends came over to the house to get ready and they raided our costume closet. Listening to them get ready brought back so many happy memories.

My view for most of the day was Frank listening intently to my mom...

who was giving Frank and I a full, complete run-down on the sacrament of marriage. And it was awesome. Every word she said was pure gold.

Seriously, I wish I had had a tape recorder in the car. Mum was on fire. She gave us all kinds of advice, from the very practical to the deeply spiritual, and all of it was the kind of thing you want to write down and remember forever.

You know, sometimes I think about doing an engagement series on this blog asking well-known Catholic women to write down their advice for engaged Catholic girls. But I realized on Friday that I don't need to ask anyone else for advice as long as I have my mom around, because she is so articulate and well-educated in her faith, and so passionate about living it. I don't think anyone could give me better advice about marriage as a Catholic. I feel pretty darn lucky to have her to learn from. :)

Also, Angela stole my camera on the way to school and enjoyed taking self-portraits of us in the back seat.

Our meetings went well, although we still have a lot to figure out. Frank's interview was a smashing success. They practically wanted to hire him on the spot. I'm so proud of him - law school is rough but he works crazy hard and is so good at what he does. And he was born to be an attorney. :)

While Frank was at his interview, Mum and I went to the second potential reception site, a hotel near my parents' house. The hotel's very nice event planner showed us around and went over the contract with us. At one point he asked me, "So where's your groom?"

I said, "Oh, he wanted to be here, but he couldn't make it."

The event planner smiled and said, "Is he one of those show-up-at-the-altar types? He doesn't want anything to do with planning the wedding?"

"Oh no," I said, laughing. "He's very involved and he has lots of ideas. Actually, I'm pretty sure he's done more wedding planning that I have at this point."

The event planner gave me a sympathetic look. "Are you ok with that?" he asked.

"Oh yes, I love it! It's nice not having to do everything by myself. I'm glad he wants to help."

The event planner looked genuinely surprised, and then said, "Ah, I see. You're not a controlling bride." Turning to my mom, he said, "She's the opposite of a bridezilla."

My mom and I both started laughing. "Yes," I agreed, "I'm the opposite of a bridezilla." Maybe the guy was just trying to butter me up, but I really was flattered. I think being the opposite of a bridezilla is a good goal to shoot for, and his comment made me feel like I'm doing something right.

Probably the best part of the whole day was visiting the dressmaker's shop. I'm getting my wedding dress handmade, like my mother did, and her mother before her. Before I got engaged I didn't expect to do that, but my mom suggested it and of course I jumped at the chance. At first I felt a little silly when people would ask me, "Where are you going to shop for your dress?" and I said, "Actually... I'm getting it made," but then Mum suggested that instead I say, "I'm designing my own dress," and that sounded just right.

So yes, I am designing my wedding dress, and I walked into the dressmaker's little shop with a very specific idea in mind. Mum and I talked to the seamstress for hours and she drew up a beautiful design based on my description, complete with fabric samples. I love working with her already - she very quickly understood exactly what I had in mind. I won't give away any other details about the dress, except to say that the dressmaker told me she was very excited about the project because she "almost never gets to work on traditional gowns!" And then she quickly added, "You don't mind that I'm calling it a traditional gown, do you?" I quickly assured her that I didn't mind. In fact, I consider it a compliment.

As I sat there in the shop touching samples of soft white fabric, I sat back for a moment to take in the magic of what was happening. I'm at a dressmaker's shop with my mom, I realized, the thought unfolding softly, and we're planning what my wedding dress will look like. This is really happening. 

For the first time since I got engaged, I felt like a bride.